Passive Parents

I recently read an article by Cary Schmidt about "The Pitfalls of Passive Parents" that he developed from the failures of Eli in raising his sons. It reminded me of how important a parent's involvement is in his/her children's lives and how consistency is absolutely necessary to guide our children toward spiritual maturity. In this blog post I have shared Cary's major points, along with a brief summary of the emphasis he was making in his article. I pray these thoughts will challenge you to take up the role God has given you to parent your children.

1. Passive parents defer parenting and spiritual emphasis to institutions and Christian environments.

• Mere environmental changes--like church, school, or youth group--are no guarantee that our children will live honorably.

2. Passive parents excuse their own sin and their children's.

• Sometimes we tolerate sin in our children's lives because we don't want to deal with our own sin.

3. Passive parents avoid confrontation and responsibility.

• They see everyone else at fault--the teacher, the pastor, the youth pastor, the other kids, the church, the school, etc.

4. Passive parents have the truth but don't apply it.

• They sit in church week after week hearing the preaching without really listening or applying it to their own lives.

5. Passive parents focus on behavior modification rather than heart transformation.

• They are more concerned with minimizing their own embarrassment than with molding their child's heart.

6. Passive parents invest high energy into personal interests/careers, but little energy into parenting.

• They find time for the things they want to do, but save little time for guiding their children in spiritual, social, educational, and other important life matters.

7. Passive parents ultimately resign themselves to "whatever will be..."

• They invest little energy into trying to bring about change when a child is repeatedly recalcitrant.

8. Passive parents will answer to God for their own neglect, not their children's choices.

• At the end of the day, our children have the power to make choices that we cannot control. We are accountable for how we parent our children before, during, and after those choices.

These are important thoughts to consider if we are to maximize our effectiveness in raising our children. The task is ours to guide our children toward the Lord and His priorities. Nobody has greater influence on our children than we do as their parents, unless we are "passive" in the parenting process.