“A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” (Proverbs 15:1 NLT)
This verse comes back to a common theme in Proverbs having to do with communication. When someone comes at you angry and slinging hurtful words, you'd be amazed at how often you can shut them down by lowering the tone of your voice and quietly speaking to them in a calm reply. Instead of answering in kind, you soften your response refusing to use inflammatory words like they've used with you. There can't be an argument if there aren't at least two people to argue. (Well, there might be some people that can argue with themselves, I suppose.) When you refuse to engage the argument in the same manner as the aggressor, you take charge of how the discussion proceeds. The problem is that when most of us feel backed into a corner we come out swinging. (I guess that's what you have to do if you are in a physical fight and being attacked.) But, when it's a verbal conflict you almost always come out better answering calmly instead of with "harsh words!" It seems to me that the whole world is angry anymore. Everybody seems to be carrying a "chip on their shoulder," but we have to remember that the wrath of man doesn't produce the righteousness God desires. (cf. James 1:19-20) The next time you feel attacked by someone verbally, do the opposite thing you normally feel like doing. More often than not you'll be amazed at how quickly you resolve problems rather than making them worse!
