Selected Scriptures
One of my favorite stories to tell comes from a class I was teaching 20 or 25 years ago. It was a class about marriage and I introduced the lesson by asking the question, “What is the #1 cause of divorce in America?” The answer I was expecting to hear was...MONEY. But, from the back of the room, one of our men spoke up and said, “The #1 cause of divorce in America is...MARRIAGE!” Of course, everyone broke out in laughter and it is still one of my fondest memories I have from that class.
One study showed that “nearly 80% of divorced couples between the ages of 20 and 30 said that financial problems were the primary cause of their divorce.”
However, what I’ve learned from experience through the years is that money isn’t really the #1 cause of divorce...IT IS SELFISHNESS! Money (and its misuse) is mostly the reflection of the greater internal problem! It is the symptom of a deeper root cause. Nevertheless, money is an important matter to discuss in building healthy families.
I don’t profess to be a financial expert and one of the things I am going to advise you to do would be frowned upon by many financial counselors. But, everything I am going to explain here is founded in scripture and based on wise judgment. I’ve not always been successful at all of these principles, but the longer I live, the more I’m certain that these principles are a good starting point to improving our financial lives.
Let the following six points form a framework from which you can begin to put your finances in order.
1. Make God your priority!!
This is the bit of information that many financial advisors probably won’t give you, but you need to know God’s Word on the matter.
I think I’ve heard most every excuse imaginable given by people as to why they cannot and/or do not have to tithe their income back to God. However, I have yet to be convinced by any of them for at least three reasons:
- The overwhelming evidence of scripture is that people who give to God’s work financially experience returns from Him in multiple blessings they would never have experienced otherwise.
“Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me! But you say, ‘In what way have we robbed You?’ In tithes and offerings. You are cursed with a curse, for you have robbed Me, even this whole nation. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, And try Me now in this,” Says the Lord of hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it. “And I will rebuke the devourer for your sakes, So that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground, nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field,” says the Lord of hosts; “And all nations will call you blessed, for you will be a delightful land,” Says the Lord of hosts. (Malachi 3:8-12)
- I have personally tested the principle of tithing since before I was married and God has never failed to meet my (our) needs. Actually, for most of my married life my wife and I have given more than a tithe back to the work of God all the while putting our children through private Christian elementary, middle and high schools, as well as private Christian colleges. We had a house payment and car payment during those same years of our children growing up. But, we have never done without anything that we needed and we have never asked or begged anyone for any of our necessities of life. We didn’t always have everything we wanted, but we never lacked anything we needed.
Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce; then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine. (Proverbs 3:9-10)
- Even if God didn’t promise to bless us for giving to the church, we feel that investing in eternal things is the most valuable and satisfying use of our financial resources. Part of the reason for that is because it is the only investment we make that is guaranteed to have eternal benefits. Too many people are rich toward this world, but poor toward God.
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21)
One of our men had been successful during the years of his business life and had tithed his income faithfully to the Lord through our church. In the process he had also saved a significant amount of his money in a trust fund. He told me one day that when he died he was leaving the church this fund that would continue to pay out a sum of money to our outreach for approximately 20 years following his passing. I’ll never forget his explanation to me as to why he set this up this way. He told me that he wanted to continue to lay up treasures in Heaven even after he had “graduated” there himself. I’ve wondered on occasions, since his passing, if God somehow makes it known to him that a deposit is made to his eternal investment account each time someone’s life is changed by the power of the Gospel made possible by his continuing gifts. You can keep laying up treasures in Heaven even after you’ve gone there by following his example.
2. Hold regular financial summits.
There’s a funny story where one man was heard to say, “I thought I still had money in the bank because I still had checks in my checkbook.”
Do you know where you stand financially as a family? This principle is especially important in the earlier days of your marriage when funds are often tighter than they might be later in life when you’ve achieved a greater measure of financial success.
One of the worst possible things that can stress a marriage is for your spouse to not know where your money goes and/or how much it actually costs to live in today’s world. Money doesn’t grow on trees and you need these financial summits for the following three reasons:
- So both spouses know where they stand financially as a family.
- So there are no surprises financially for the husband or wife.
- So you dispel the “yours, mine and ours” philosophy in your finances.
Mary takes care of all our financial responsibilities for our family and has done so for most of our married lives (by the way, she’s does a phenomenal job). Whenever Mary shows up at the bank to cash a check or make a deposit it’s like a party breaks out because she knows everyone there. Whenever I show up at a bank they usually ask me for double ID, a pint of blood, a background check, and a full body scan to make sure I am who I say I am. :) And, our financial summits together seem to consist mostly of me being reminded that what’s mine is hers and what’s hers is hers, too. :)
All joking aside, it just costs more to live in today’s world than it ever has and it isn’t going to get any cheaper in the coming years. I hear people say on occasion to younger couples, “Well, when I was your age we lived on (insert some ridiculously low dollar figure from the middle of the last century) and we did just fine!” Well, when you were a young adult everything cost a fraction of what it costs now.
My heart is especially burdened for those that live on fixed incomes. If you want to know how much prices are going up...just ask THEM. Too many senior adults have to make choices between whether they will buy their medications or their groceries each week. You’ll find that people living on a fixed income are forced regularly to review their financial status due to the pressure of ever-rising costs.
These matters can’t be left for either spouse to merely assume they know where the couple stands financially. Both parties in a marriage MUST (!!) work together at being fiscally responsible with their financial resources.
Just remember...you’re never going to do better with your finances until you start making better financial decisions together!!
3. Establish some spending controls.
- Did you know that the average American family will likely earn more than a $1,000,000 during their working lives ($30,000 X 40 years), but only 5% of those will be able to write a check for $5,000 at retirement?
- 80% die without wills, with more than 100 million dollars a week going into probate unprotected.
- 87% retire at poverty level of annual income.
- 18 out of 20 are living paycheck to paycheck and beyond because of higher consumer debt.
At one time, Social Security records showed that 85 out of 100 Americans had less than $250 when they reached age 65.
Those kind of statistics are always changing and most of the time it’s not for the better. We must all become better stewards of our resources. That’s what the scripture says...
Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful. (1 Corinthians 4:2)
Here are a few simple steps to being better stewards of your money…
- Make a budget and live as closely to it as possible.
That means doing things like...putting God first, paying your bills next, and putting away something in savings, as often as possible.
- Develop financial accountability with your spouse.
It’s not that unusual for one spouse to be thrifty and the other to be compulsive with money. God wants you to balance each other!
- As much as possible, pay as you go.
Especially (!!!), limit credit card debt! It’s likely the highest percentage of interest you’ll pay on ANY loan.
- Learn to resist sales pitches.
Spending controls is one of the primary areas where you’ll find your selfishness or selflessness showing through.
4. Avoid rushing into debt.
Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. (Romans 13:8)
This verse serves to remind us that if we incur a debt, we should be prepared and able to pay off that debt. The only continuously outstanding debt the Bible allows is the debt of love.
Some people are of the opinion that any and/or all indebtedness is wrong. They tell us we should never borrow money for any type of item or for any reason (and if you can do that...by all means do it). Their reasoning is that the scripture here teaches that debt is wrong.
However, that is not what this text says! Pastor and author, Dr. Charles Swindoll, writes, “In this verse the Greek verb for owe is in the present tense. Consequently, the command literally reads, ‘Do not keep owing anyone anything.’ In other words, when payment is due on a bill, we are told to pay it. If we fail to meet our financial obligations, then we violate this Biblical injunction. Please notice that a proper use of credit is not prohibited here.”
Pastor, author and scholar, Dr. John MacArthur, makes a similar point, “That phrase is sometimes interpreted to mean that a Christian is never justified in going into debt of any sort. But neither the Old nor New Testament categorically forbid borrowing or lending...When borrowing is truly necessary, the money should be repaid as agreed upon with the lender, promptly and fully.”
There are two shows that I like to watch periodically on TV. One is “House Hunters” and the other is “House Hunters International.” I never cease to be amazed at the cost people are willing or are able to pay for houses that really aren’t all that attractive (in my opinion) or large in square footage. I’ve thanked God on more than one occasion that my family didn’t live in some of those regions of the country/world where owning a house meant being “house poor” for much of your life. Debt is a hard taskmaster that never lets up no matter how much you may need relief.
Consequently, whenever you are considering taking on debt, keep these four thoughts in mind:
A. Prayer
Before you take on debt, be sure it is God’s will and not your own you are pursuing. (God gets blamed for a lot of things He never really told people to do. They merely use Him as a means of manipulating their circumstances and “stiff-arming” anyone that would challenge their assumptions. Don’t let yourself fall into that trap.) Besides, maybe God wants to give you a miracle and provide for you without going into debt.
B. Patience
Once you’ve asked God to provide for something, you have to wait to see how He may answer your request. Asking God for something isn’t like rubbing a bottle and waiting for the Genie to appear so he can grant your every wish. God knows what is best for you and the right timing for what is best for you!
Patience is also a good way to avoid buyer’s/debtor’s remorse. How many people rush into something only to later regret their purchase? You may also find your immediate (sometimes pressured) impulse to buy really isn’t as pressing or necessary as you thought at the time.
C. Planning
If you are going to take out a loan, you have to know how you are going to pay back your debt. That may require some preparation and long-range planning before you assume the loan so you don’t get in over your head.
Mary and I lived the first four years of our marriage in rental property and another 10 years in church-owned properties before we were able to purchase our first and only home. I don’t necessarily recommend that approach, but it took a lot of planning before we could finally step out to build some equity in a home of our own.
D. Payments
Make your payments in full and on time. If there is a problem, discuss it with your lender so he/she knows you are a conscientious and honorable person wanting to do the right thing.
5. Learn to be content.
One of the most frequently committed sins (and trust me, I know from too much personal experience) is the sin of discontentment. It’s the attitude that you are entitled to have everything everybody else has. Or, the attitude that you have to keep up with the “Jones’” (with my sincerest apologies to anyone named “Jones”)
Discontentment is the inner desire that every advertiser wants to tap into to make you think you have to have their latest product. It’s regularly on display with the long lines of people outside an Apple store hours or days before the release of their newest update to their latest product line...even though their current Apple product is sufficient and still works great! It teams up with covetousness and the two coordinate together to pressure you into making decisions that are financially unwise (and we’ve all succumbed at times).
On the other hand, be reminded that contentment is not the absence of ambition to move up the ladder of success. There is nothing necessarily spiritual about being poor or unspiritual about being rich.
- Contentment, however, helps you avoid foolish and even dangerous decisions that place your financial stability in jeopardy.
- Contentment knows that some things can wait and all purchases have expiration dates (i.e., get old, go out of style, become obsolete, etc.).
- Contentment reminds you that your life does not consist in the abundance of the things you possess (cf. Luke 12:15).
- Contentment helps you place the emphasis in your life on spiritual and eternal things. And, it helps you avoid spending too much for the material and temporal things of life.
- Contentment helps you refocus on things that truly matter!!
The Apostle Paul said, Now godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. (1 Timothy 6:6-8)
The noun “contentment” is a compound word. The first part of this Greek term is literally translated (autos) “self” and the second part (arkeo), “to be sufficient.” What it denotes is an inward satisfaction that is not affected by outward circumstances. Paul testifies to this in something he said:
Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11 NLT)
Again, it’s important to note when talking about contentment that being cheap is NOT the same thing as contentment.
I read the story of a woman named Hetty Green who lived from November 21, 1834 – July 3, 1916 and was known as “the richest woman in America,” at the time. But, she was also known as a great miser. When she died, she left an estate valued at $100 million, which was an especially large fortune. However, she was so miserly that she ate cold oatmeal in order to save the expense of heating the water. When her son had a severe leg injury, she took so long trying to find a free clinic to treat him that his leg had to be amputated because of advanced infection. It has been said about her that she hastened her own death by bringing on a fit of apoplexy while arguing the merits of skim milk because it was cheaper than whole milk.
That’s not contentment...that’s just CHEAP!
6. Seek sound financial advice.
Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety. (Proverbs 11:14)
When it comes to your finances, it may well be advisable for you to seek out a wise believer or two that you can trust to counsel you in your financial decisions!! In an age when youth is celebrated and old age is brushed aside...some of your best advice might just come from some of those with graying hair!! Hum...it’s amazing how the scripture teaches the same thing about seeking the counsel of those with “experience.”
Conclusion:
One of the saddest things I see today are the people that live as though this life is all there is. They truly believe that their lives consist in the things they have or don’t have. Jesus said, “And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?” (Mark 8:36 NLT)
The one place where all men/women stand equal is at the foot of the cross. You can have everything there is in this world at your fingertips, but if you don’t have Jesus...you’ll be the biggest loser in the end.
And, you can have no possessions of much earthly value and be among the richest people on the planet...because you know Jesus. All of the children of God are wealthy beyond their wildest imaginations, but they won’t realize it fully until they step into Heaven and are finally home with Christ!
