Monday, September 06, 2010

The Oil of Kindness

If you had been paid a dollar for every word or deed of kindness you have done in your life and had been charged 50 cents for each word or deed of unkindness done, how would you fare financially? When was the last time you can specifically remember showing kindness to someone who was not a part of your inner circle or immediate family?

I think many would concur that our world has become a harsher place to live as we have become more self-centered in our lifestyles. USA Today reported that “ ‘In your face’ rudeness is rampant in the U.S. workplace, damaging mental health and lowering productivity.... In the report, some 71% of 1,100 workers surveyed said they had experienced put-downs of condescending and outright rude behavior on the job.”

In the early to middle 1990’s, a movement to motivate people to perform random acts of kindness sprang up. It began in a small college classroom when a professor assigned a project to his students to perform a deed of kindness and then to write a paper about the experience. The news of this project quickly spread and a movement was launched. Even a movie developed around the idea, entitled Pay It Forward, dealing with the importance of kindness and kind deeds, but isn’t it a shame that the world has to teach those of us who are God’s children about kindness? Don’t we recognize that at the core of our Sovereign God’s nature is His lovingkindness and that those who would be like Him will demonstrate the character of kindness?

  • Psalm 26:3 “For Your lovingkindness is before my eyes, And I have walked in Your truth.”
  • Psalm 36:7 “How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.”
  • Psalm 40:11Do not withhold Your tender mercies from me, O Lord; Let Your lovingkindness and Your truth continually preserve me.”
  • Psalm 42:8The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, And in the night His song shall be with me—A prayer to the God of my life.”
  • Psalm 51:1Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness; According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions.”
  • Psalm 107:43Whoever is wise will observe these things, And they will understand the lovingkindness of the Lord.”
  • Psalm 119:88Revive me according to Your lovingkindness, So that I may keep the testimony of Your mouth.”
  • Psalm 138:2I will worship toward Your holy temple, And praise Your name For Your lovingkindness and Your truth; For You have magnified Your word above all Your name.”
  • Psalm 143:8Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning, For in You do I trust; Cause me to know the way in which I should walk, For I lift up my soul to You.”

Kindness didn’t originate with a college professor, Hollywood producers and writers, or even some benevolent saint. It is the very nature of our God, Who existed before there was anyone to whom kindness could be shown. When we were created in His image, we were created to reflect His nature, which includes His lovingkindness.

I’m sure it is true that many people want kind things to be done for others and are willing to pay and provide for others to do them, but too often they don’t want to be involved themselves. This type of kindness is appreciated but is absent of real heart. It becomes little more than a perfunctory task that fails to display God’s character to the fullest and prevents us from enjoying the rewards of selfless service to others. Hence our world views Christians as being deeply religious but removed from the real needs of hurting people, thus hindering our effective witness for Him.

At other times people who want to be kind don’t do so because of the inconvenience or cost to themselves. Thomas Merton in his book, No Man Is an Island, wrote, “To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.” (Merton, Thomas, No Man Is an Island [New York: Harcourt Brace Jonanovich, 1983], p.24.)

Many of us have camped on that doorstep a few times but some of us have taken up residence there. The self-life so permeates our actions and attitudes that we can’t be bothered with showing kindness to others because it gets in the way of what we want to do or what is best for us.

There was a man who lived in a small town who was considered by many of his fellow citizens to be eccentric, odd, and even weird. The reason is because he always carried with him a small oilcan and whenever he came upon a door that squeaked or a gate that was hard to open, he pulled out that oilcan and lubricated the offending parts. He never left home without his oilcan and if he ran out along the way, he would go home immediately to refill it.

I don’t know whether you would consider him odd or not, but don’t you agree it would be appropriate for us to take the oil of kindness with us at all times and use it wherever we find a need, regardless of the sacrifice we might have to make or the ridicule we might have to endure? There are some squeaky and rusty lives that need the touch of God’s lovingkindness through us. Christians who live in this manner unmistakably bear a likeness to God and a new effectiveness in their witness.

Jesus went about doing good all the days of His ministry on earth (Acts 10:38). His kindness can be seen in a hundred different ways in the Gospels. People from all avenues of life felt His touch of concern. From the feeding of the multitudes who were hungry, to His raising of the widow’s son, to His giving of sight to the blind, to His meeting with a member of the Pharisees, privately, to tell him about the new birth, to His washing the disciples feet, to His death on the cross where He cried out, “Father forgive them,” Jesus was the epitome of lovingkindness.

When David finally became king of Israel, after many trying experiences and waiting for God’s appointed time, one of the first things he did was to show kindness to a man whose name was Mephibosheth.

We shouldn’t think it strange that the mighty warrior, David, would desire to show kindness to another. After all, doesn’t the Scripture tell us that he was a man “after God’s own heart”?

Don’t you think it takes this type of desire for God before a person can truly become a person of Godlike kindness?

Take a moment and read 2 Samuel 9:1-8, 13, and then return to this article and consider some of the thoughts that stood out to me from the passage.

1. David was kind to someone who specifically needed his kindness.

Mephibosheth suffered some terrible losses when he was just a small child. His father and grandfather were killed in a battle with the Philistine army and when word reached home that they were dead, his caretaker hurriedly scooped him up and fled in fear that the enemy might come to take their lives also. In the process of her escape with the young child, he fell and both of his feet were crippled (2 Samuel 4:4).

Author and commentator, Dr. William Blaike, describes what Mephibosheth’s life was probably like after the deaths of his father and grandfather and after his crippling injury. He writes, “Naturally of a timid nature, and weakened in nerve by the accident of his infancy, he must have grown up under great disadvantages. His lameness excluded him from sharing in any youthful game or manly exercise, and therefore threw him in company of the women who, like him, tarried at home…He was too young to remember the generous conduct of David in reference to his father and grandfather; and those who were about him probably did not care to say much about it…This shattered condition of both mind and body commended him all the more to the friendly regard of David…” (Blaike, David, David, pp. 138-140.)

All around us are people who are “shattered” in both “mind and body” who need our deeds and words of kindness. There is no lack of opportunity for those who are attentive to the needs of others to show kindness. To whom should you be showing kindness today?

Preacher and author Stuart Briscoe tells the story about coming to the United States with his wife and driving to the windy city of Chicago for a speaking engagement. He noticed that his car was nearly on empty but he thought he would fill up when he got closer to the city, knowing there would be plenty of gas stations along the way. What he hadn’t planned on was getting stuck in a traffic jam in the fast lane of the interstate in a deluge of rain. When he finally ran out of gas while inching along the expressway, he realized that his assumptions about filling up in the city had been ill-advised. As he climbed from his car and stood in the rain, he was met with a chorus of horns blowing and strong invectives yelled at him. A dilapidated, rusty, old Chevy pulled up beside him. Expecting more of what he had already been receiving, he braced himself for verbal abuse, but the man spoke such broken English he couldn’t understand what he said. About fifteen minutes later the man in the old, rusty Chevy returned in a mass of traffic and pulled up beside him. He got out with a gas can and began to fill his tank. He had seen Stuart’s plight, borrowed a gas can, filled it up, and fought his way through heavy traffic back to help him. When Mr. Briscoe tried to thank the man he said, “You look kinda new around here. Me, I just come from Puerto Rico, Friday. Ain’t nobody do nothing for nobody in this city” and with that he was gone. Thank God for people in rusty, old Chevys who are attentive to people in need.

2. David was kind to someone who was not considered fit to receive his kindness.

When David questioned Ziba, the former servant of Mephibosheth’s grandfather, about a family descendant to whom he could show kindness, his response suggests that he didn’t consider Mephibosheth even worthy of consideration because of his deformity (cf. 9:3). If you read between the lines you can almost hear the undertones in Ziba’s voice suggesting that it wouldn’t look good for Mephibosheth to sit in David’s court because he didn’t fit the image of a king’s court. But David was undeterred from finding him and bringing him to the palace.

To illustrate how different Mephibosheth was from the other members of David’s family and royal court, listen to Charles Swindoll described how a dinner might have looked with Mephibosheth present: “The meal is fixed and the dinner bell rings and along come the members of the family and their guests. Amnon, clever and witty, comes to the table first. Then there’s Joab, one of the guests – muscular, masculine, attractive, his skin bronzed from the sun, walking tall and erect like an experienced soldier. Next comes Absalom. Talk about handsome! From the crown of his head to the soles of his feet there is not a blemish on him. Then there is Tamar—beautiful, tender daughter of David. And, later on, one could add Solomon as well. He’s been in the study all day, but he finally slips away from his work and makes his way to the table.

But then they hear this clump, clump, clump, clump, and here comes Mephibosheth, hobbling along. He smiles and humbly joins the others as he takes his place at the table as one of the king’s sons…” (Swindoll, Charles, David, A Man of Passion and Destiny, pp. 175-176 )

Sometimes those who most need our acts of kindness are the ones who are forgotten by society and passed over because they are different from the “normal” person.

A number of years ago at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all mentally or physically handicapped, met at the starting line of the 100-yard dash. When the gun went off they each lunged forward, not with the grace or speed of the track stars of recent Olympiads, but with just as much enthusiasm and spirit.

One little boy stumbled as he came out of the blocks, tumbling several times before beginning to cry. The other eight heard him and slowed down to see what was wrong with their fellow competitor. Suddenly all eight returned to their fallen challenger. One boy with Down’s syndrome bent over and kissed him and said, “This will make it better.” Then all nine contestants linked their arms together and walked across the finish line.

The spectators who had been watching this whole thing began to cheer and applaud as they made their way along the track. The adulation was deafening and went on for several minutes.

I confess to you that my concept of what I consider “normal” has changed somewhat through the years. I don’t know how you define “normal” but I believe that every time we stop the rat race of our lives to help someone who doesn’t necessarily fit the cultural mold in order to show the kindness of God, there is thunderous applause in Heaven.

3. David was kind to someone who did not necessarily deserve his kindness.

We mustn’t forget that Mephibosheth was of the family of Saul who had troubled David for years and caused him to live in exile for more than ten years of his life. David could have easily held bitterness in his heart toward any of Saul’s descendants. In addition, Mephibosheth had done nothing to make amends for the ways of his grandfather, nor could he have done so. Yet David acted in kindness toward him.

You can often tell the character of a man by the way he treats those who are not among his friends. The Scripture still teaches, “…love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you…”

The golden rule says, “And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. (Luke 6:31).

Who can forget that dark night when Jesus was praying in the Garden of Gethsemane and Judas came with a throng of angry men to arrest Him? As he approached Christ and placed the kiss of betrayal on the face of the blessed Son of God, knowing he was identifying Him to the mob who would eventually force His crucifixion, Jesus kindly addressed him, “Friend, wherefore art thou come?” Can you believe it? Even the one who had set in motion the most ignominious death ever suffered was treated kindly by the One he had betrayed. Oh, that God would give us the grace to be this kind to our enemies.

4. David was kind to someone who was not seeking his kindness.

Mephibosheth had never sought anything from David. It may have never crossed his mind to ask David for a favor or, more probably, he didn’t have any reason to believe that David would show him kindness even if he asked. After all, this is the King of Israel we are talking about. He had enemies to fight and affairs of state to handle. Mephibosheth probably didn’t believe that he mattered to David since he was so far removed from his life difficulties.

Those who are least expecting a word or deed of kindness are often the most appreciative and sometimes the most in need of such a display. Sadly, our world has caused people to become cynical and skeptical of anyone trying to help.

I heard recently about an elderly couple struggling to carry their groceries to the car when a young man offered his assistance. At first they were concerned and even a bit afraid, but he finally convinced them that he wanted nothing but to lend a hand to them out of the kindness of his heart.

Our society has become so distrusting that kindness is often misinterpreted. The only remedy for this perception, though, is for us to keep being kind and to do so more often so that maybe in time we can change the stereotypes people have of those who are considerate.

If you only show kindness to those who are in your sphere of friends or if you violate the trust of people by showing kindness with ulterior motives, you will miss some of the greatest blessings in life and some of the most wonderful opportunities to share Christ with others.

5. David was kind to someone who could not reciprocate his kindness.

There was no way that Mephibosheth would ever be able to repay David for his kindness. What could he possibly do to return the favor shown by a king? What could a poor, crippled man ever offer the King of Israel? David was a man who had everything by the standards of his day and Mephibosheth had nothing. He lived in the city of Lodebar, which means “without pasture.” In other words he lived in a barren, desert-like environment. This was certainly true of his physical surroundings and, I think, of his emotional state as well.

The greatest joy comes when you give to others with no strings attached. Have we forgotten that the Bible still says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35)? If your kindness is predicated on what the other person can do for you, it is not kindness but manipulation.

Ann Curry, who is the successful and popular news anchor of NBC’s “Today” show, tells the story of a woman named Mary whom she met after the death of her mother, on one of the streets in lower Manhattan. She writes, “Then I see Mary. It is hard not to notice her. She is elderly and…someone who obviously cares greatly how she is dressed. She is wearing a pretty, if no longer fashionable, dress. The brim of a straw hat gives her a kind of halo over her soft gray curls. And on her face she wears a small, knowing smile, enhanced by a pale lipstick, and a little blush.

“People smile at her as they walk by. But something about how she is leaning, her hand heavy on a fire hydrant, makes me stop.

“I dawdle, trying not to look like a stalker…intermittently glancing at the sweet, aged face. Does she need help crossing the street? Is she just resting? Then I see her try to hail a cab. The driver keeps going.

“So I go over.

“‘Do you want me to get you a cab?’ I ask.

“She says, ‘Oh, I don’t know why I’m out here. I can’t walk very well anymore. But I need to get to the bank.’

“We introduce ourselves. And I can see she is nervous about getting into a cab by herself. So I ask her if she wants me to ride with her. Mary’s face lights up…

“The cab arrives at the bank. I pay; we get out. And as I help her inside, Mary looks me in the eyes and says over and over, ‘Oh, I can’t tell you! Oh, I thank you.’

“But as I walk away, I worry. Who will take her home? Will that person be kind to her? How long can she rely on the kindness of strangers?

“I also feel great…. Doing good is really, in a way, an act of selfishness. It can make you feel right again.” (Curry, Ann, USA Weekend, August 3-5, 2001, p. 7.)

The greatest satisfaction you will ever know comes from doing for others when they can’t do anything in return. I’m not sure if “doing good” is properly described as “selfishness,” but I can tell you it is exhilarating. Within the acts and words of kindness we share with others are the seeds of contentment and joy. Do something for someone who can’t do anything in return and you will be rewarded.

6. David was kind to someone because he was in a position to show kindness.

While David was in exile and when he was king only in Hebron, it was not in his power to help Mephibosheth. Not until he had ascended to be king over the whole nation of Israel could David show him kindness.

God doesn’t expect us to do what we cannot do but to do what we can do. Whatever you have in your hand is what God wants you to share with others. It may be something as simple as giving your seat to a person who needs to sit down, visiting someone who is sick or shut-in, listening to someone who is troubled, helping someone hail a cab, etc. Stop excusing yourself because you say you don’t have the means to truly help others. That’s a cop-out! All God asks of us is that we do what we can to reflect His kindness to others. If He wants you to do more, then He will provide for you the means to do so, but until then, use what you have already.

7. David was kind to someone because he had been the recipient of kindness.

The Scripture tells us that David wanted to show kindness to Mephibosheth because he had been the recipient of kindness himself (cf. 9:1).

Have you heard someone intimate, “The world hasn’t been kind to me and therefore I don’t have to be kind to others”? It may or may not be true that the world hasn’t been kind to you, but if you are a child of God you can never say that you haven’t been touched by kindness.

Like Mephibosheth, we too were injured in a fall, the fall of Adam into sin in the Garden of Eden. We were utterly unable to change our spiritual condition and were undeserving of the King’s kindness, but through faith in His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, we have been invited to sit at the King’s table and live in His kingdom.

We of all people should be kind because we have been redeemed by the greatest act of kindness known to man, the death of God’s Son for our sins. How can we tolerate unkindness in our lives? How can we who have been touched by God’s kindness go on living in our self-centered worlds and not share the kindness of God with others? The only thing I can figure is that we aren’t people “after God’s own heart.” If we can be content living in our own little realm and not care about others, then there is something wrong with our Christianity. It’s time for all of us to show forth God’s kindness to others.

Cyril Barber, in his commentary on 2 Samuel says, “True kindness is an attitude of the heart. It is the evidence of the grace of God remaking our natural disposition so that we begin to show His nature to those about us. Kindness is seen in our deeds…it can be observed in a look or a touch. It is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” (Barber, Cyril, The Books of Samuel, Volume Two, p.153.)

Did you notice the phrase he used, “remaking our natural disposition”? By nature, you and I are not necessarily kind, but God is in the business of remaking us like Himself. Why not surrender to God today and allow Him to open your eyes to those around you who need a touch of His loving kindness through you?

Utilize the oil of kindness today and you might just find your own life works more smoothly as well?