A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. (Proverbs 15:1 NLT)
Responding in kind comes natural when you've been stung by the "harsh words" of an adversary. But, when you give back the bitterness you've received all you do is further inflame people's "tempers." Instead, do the exact opposite of what he/she expects by giving a "gentle answer" and watch how quickly it calms the conflict.
