A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“Interfering in someone else’s argument is as foolish as yanking a dog’s ears.” (Proverbs 26:17 NLT) 

I've come to the last of my thirty-one thoughts for thirty-one days from the thirty-one chapters of Proverbs.There is so much more in this book to be discovered, so keep reading it and pondering it's wisdom from yourself. It is precisely the kind of proverb we are considering today that is the primary reason I love reading the book regularly. 

I’ve never pulled a dog’s ears, but I assume it wouldn’t have a good outcome. Of course, the obvious response of the dog is the reason he uses this analogy. Dogs in the ancient world were not as domesticated as today. They were mostly wild, more like jackals. Consequently, you were making trouble for yourself when you aggravated a dog and it was your fault if you got bitten (like getting stung because you poked the hornet's nest). It could even be deadly, if the dog had rabies. This proverb basically says that we should stay out of other people’s arguments and you won’t get hurt. Interfere in other people’s fights and you might get "punched"! I’d go a step further and say, stay out of everybody’s “business” in general (whatever it is) unless they invite you in to help them. As an example of what I’m saying, I have a love/hate relationship with social media and this proverb expresses some of my reasoning. Why does everybody have to know everybody else’s business? It only invites people into things where they really don't need to be. Of course, there are times when it can be a positive influence, but I’ve seen so many negatives, as well. I love it when people post pictures of their families or travels online. Or, they use social media to encourage, edify and spread the truth of God's Word! Anyway, it’s usually best to “mind your own business” and pay attention to the things going on in your own world. (Please read Prov. 20:3!) Paul put it this way, “Make it your goal to live a quiet life, MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.” (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12) There is a world full of busybodies that think they have a right to "get all up in everybody's business." You’ve probably met him/her...always asking probing questions about private matters, sharing an opinion about something that's not even their concern, or telling you something “juicy” about another person. I can’t help but scratch my head sometimes wondering how they know the things they are passing along. As we know, what a lot of people pass along is usually something less than edifying and mostly gossip. People seem to love prying into other people’s business and occasionally I’ve had to ask someone to politely “butt out!” I have never thought it was a good idea to "yank" a "dog's ears" and Solomon agrees!  

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“As the beating of cream yields butter and striking the nose causes bleeding, so stirring up anger causes quarrels.” (Proverbs 30:33 NLT)  

This proverb actually advises people to strive for peace and harmony through humility and righteousness. I know it doesn’t say it that way, but that’s the essence of the proverb. It does this by reminding us that when you agitate people, you end up “stirring up [their] anger” and that only leads to “quarrels." The first two illustrations in this verse show how “beating” and “striking” both get specific responses. So, irritating and/or provoking someone is going to make that person mad and bring on the responses of "quarrels" and contentions. Again, it’s sort of back to a another proverb that says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” (Prov. 15:1) Being able to avoid an argument or keep from making it worse is the mark of a mature believer. Sure, there are times when you have to confront problems and get unpleasant matters resolved. However, most of the time when you force the conversation or pursue it at the wrong times it only amplifies the problems that already exist. If someone is pushing (“stirring”) you and you feel your temper rising, the best thing you can do is to ask them to wait until a later, set time to discuss the matter. Then, get away and gain your composure and prepare to talk about the “problem” and not attack the person. Anger will almost always make us attack the person rather than the problem. Nothing constructive ever comes from doing so and it usually degenerates into something even worse than the original problem. Another way to say it is, “Don’t push the other person’s proverbial buttons.” I see this a lot in relationships where couples know that certain things they say or do are going to “get under the skin" of the other person. Sometimes it’s intentional and they want to “stir up anger.”  At other times it’s accidental and completely unintended. Again, we have to be able to sit down and resolve issues in a mature fashion. For instance, in a relationship, one person can’t always have his/her way to the exclusion of the other person. A marriage relationship is a partnership that requires two adults being able to learn each others strengths and weaknesses so they can help the other person become better. Sometimes there are things that have to be resolved in a manner that accommodates all persons involved, but it will almost never happen when you are “stirring up anger” rather than maintaining a calm, cool composure. Things to remember:

• You are responsible for how “YOU treat” others.
• You are also responsible for how “YOU react” to others who mistreat you.

Responding in an appropriate fashion takes growing in Christ and with it, you get better with proper actions/responses over time. We all have to work at this because it doesn’t come naturally. It takes God’s help!

A Word From The Wise (Solomon)...

“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.” (Proverbs 29:25 NLT) 

Every time I read this verse the first thing I think of is peer pressure. Different people deal differently with peer pressure. And, it’s not just something kids and teenagers have to confront. At every level of life there is peer pressure and “fearing people” makes us all do some funny things at times. Maybe there's not a way to totally avoid peer pressure, but recognizing its power against you is a major step forward. Of course, I’m speaking of peer pressure when it’s toward the negatives rather than the positives in life. Peer pressure can have a good effect when it’s caused by people that are moving in the right direction. That’s one reason a church is so vitally important in every believer’s life. Among fellow believers you find godly peer pressure that helps you follow God. We can’t always help who is around us, but we can always help how they influence us...for good or bad. I think helping our children learn to recognize peer pressure and know how to respond to it is one of the really important things we teach our children. Helping them choose their friends wisely and showing them how to be leaders are also part of the process of childrearing. Most children are followers by nature rather than leaders and that’s OK. It’s just that we have to teach them what to do when they are pressured to do something they have been taught not to do...or vice versa. It’s in those moments that they are going to have to lead rather than follow. And, they are definitely going to feel peer pressure at times. We ALL feel it at times! I have been in circumstances where I had to make the decision whether I would do what I knew was right or whether I would cave to the pressure placed on me. When we find ourselves in those situations, we have to take refuge in the “safety” the Lord gives. Inevitably those that are pressuring us to do something we really don’t want to do or know we shouldn’t do...will only turn up the pressure. It may be for a time we'll be the butt of every joke they make, but God will be pleased when we do right for His glory. My experience is that whenever I made the right choice to push back against negative peer pressure that the end result was the feeling of peace rather than guilt from giving into it. 

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“Blessed are those who fear to do wrong, but the stubborn are headed for serious trouble.” (Proverbs 28:14 NLT) 

I’m not sure if there are very many people that “fear” to do wrong anymore. It seems like “anything goes” and most people aren’t ashamed to flaunt their evil. Actually, most of them don’t even consider it as evil! I'm concerned about the things our children and grandchildren will be exposed to in the years to come. Part of the problem is that people are shortsighted and don’t understand that even if you get away with something here, it doesn’t mean you won’t answer for it when you stand before God. Our society has thrown off all restraint in the pursuit of their sinful passions. This proverb says that the one who is “blessed” is the one that fears “to do wrong.” They have an understanding of eternal things and know the eternal God. They know the consequences are more than temporary, they may well be eternal. We can’t stop what society around us does, but we can personally live in light of what we know to be the truth about God. A healthy dose of “fear” is good in the believer's life. This is not the fear of losing your salvation, but fear of meeting Christ knowing that you have flaunted His ways, His will and His Word. While the believer is assured of being with Christ in Heaven, there is still the reality of the Judgment Seat of Christ. It’s there that our works will be examined as to whether they were worthy of our Savior and whether we followed His instructions. Some of them will be rewarded, but others will result in our “suffer[ing] loss.” (cf. I Corinthians 3:15) We need to ask God to make us sensitive to things that displease Him and to convict us when we are wrong. We simply don’t want to go on in our “stubbornness” and meet the consequences of doing life our way. Maybe our society doesn’t know right from wrong anymore, but those of us that know Jesus have no excuse. We have a Bible that explains what God requires of us and it’s our lifelong task to learn what it says so we can do right. We must filter everything we do through the truth of scripture. Ask yourself often, “What does God say about this?” Don’t trust your emotions to make decisions in areas where you don’t know if God has something to say about a matter. Christianity seems restrictive to some people, but God knows what is best for us...now and when we meet Him in Heaven. We might talk our way out of some things here, but that won’t happen in His presence!

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17 NLT) 

There’s nothing like a true friend that won’t just tell you what you want to hear, but will tell you what you “need” to hear. A lot of people will never make the effort to develop these kinds of godly friendships that have that level of trust. Our spouses are our first and most important friends! They should have the right to speak into our lives anything that we need to hear. It’s always difficult to hear constructive criticism from a family member, but they know us better than anyone else and see things no one else sees. They also love us more than anyone else will ever love us. But, there must be others to whom we give access to our lives and can speak the truth to us in love. I’m not suggesting we need a lot of these types of friends, but everybody that wants to live godly needs some. I suggest that some of these friendships be with older, godly people and not just those who are our peers. There is nothing like having someone in our lives that has the wisdom of experience, as well as biblical insight, that we can consult when needed. We might also be surprised how much we help that older friend, not just how much he/she helps us. The best place to build these friendships is in a local church setting! Friendships like these can’t be forced, but usually develop naturally out of spending time with other people seeking God. It’s not like we go to somebody and say, “Will you be my friend?” The friendships I’m talking about develop over time and happen naturally. As your friendship grows we give these individuals increasing privileges to say to us whatever needs to be said. We don’t have to accept everything they say or tell us to do, but it’s helpful to hear an outside perspective. It needs to be people that love us enough to encourage our walk with God and aren't afraid to tell us when you get “too close to the edge.” There’s also the larger body of friends like many of us have in a Life Group or Sunday School class that become invaluable to us along our faith journey. They share life together with us and encourage us to be faithful to the Lord in a less personal way. We just need people along the journey of life to help us stay true to our faith. We all have a tendency to drift spiritually and “a friend sharpens a friend” by helping us stay focused on the Lord and the right way to live. 

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. You will heap burning coals of shame on their heads, and the Lord will reward you.” (Proverbs 25:21-22 NLT) 

These two verses are repeated in the New Testament in Romans 12:20. Solomon says that the right way to handle your “enemies” is exactly the opposite of the way you want to handle them. The natural response we feel when our enemies hurt is to let them suffer. I know the feeling well! Through the years I’ve often thought of what I’d really like to say or do to someone that mistreated me or hurt me deeply. I haven’t mastered this truth yet, but I’ve learned that you get better results when you don’t do what they are expecting you to do and God is more glorified through it, as well. What I’m talking about is sort of a “surprise attack,” though it’s not really an attack at all. When he says we will “heap burning coals of shame on their heads” by doing good to our enemies, he’s not talking about doing good so they really get “burned up.”  It’s an illustration of something that was done in the Middle East when a person felt sorry for their actions. To show their contrition, they would carry on their head hot coals in a pan as a sign of their sorrow and repentance. So, when Solomon says to do good to our enemies (“give them food,” “give them water”) he’s telling us that by our good deeds toward the offending parties we have a greater chance of bringing them to the recognition of their wrong and leading them to true change. Does it always happen? No, but it is always right to do right because it is right. It also protects your testimony and puts them in a place that they will be without excuse when they stand before God. This was Peter’s advice, “Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.” (1 Peter 2:12 NLT) The fact is...God is going to judge the world one day and He will settle the score with our “enemies” in a just and righteous way! It will be our “honorable behavior” that will be part of the witness against them. Let's ask God to help us leave vengeance and justice to Him and do the opposite of the way we feel when our enemy is suffering in some way! 

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.” (Proverbs 24:16 NLT) 

This Proverb goes with the verse right before it (take a moment and read it) and indicates that even if the wicked set out to “take down” the godly, they can’t succeed because the godly just keep getting back up. The old adage I’ve heard many times says, “You can’t keep a good man down.” What it really should say is, “You can’t keep a GODLY man (or woman) down!” He’s talking here about some kind of devastating circumstance brought on the godly by the wicked. However, the principle is true even if you falter or stumble on your own. It’s the “godly” that possess an inner fortitude, enabled by the grace of God, that prompts them to “get up again” and keep going. It’s sort of like watching a prize fight when a boxer is hit with one great, well placed blow and he goes down. The referee begins the countdown and before he reaches “ten,” the fighter jumps back up and is ready to continue. The resilience of the “godly” is such that evil (whether brought on by others or himself) cannot win! He knows he belongs to the Lord! He knows the Lord is compassionate and forgiving! He will not quit! Something to remember...by the term “godly” we mean the one that is sincerely seeking God. There are people that are Christians that are contented to just escape hell and nothing more. But, the one who has a heart to follow God has a resilience that will not let them quit when they get knocked down. You have three great enemies fighting against you. The first is the “world,” which has to do with the ideals, philosophies, ambitions, deceptions of this evil age in which we live. The second is your own “flesh,” which includes all the broken, inner desires and propensities that are opposed to godly living. The third is the “Devil,” which is the tempter, accuser, liar, and destroyer that is always looking to take you down. If we fail to realize that we are on a battlefield rather than a playground, we open ourselves up to a “disaster” reeking havoc in our lives. The number one target of our "enemies" (world, flesh, Devil) is the “godly” who are seeking to honor God with their lives! If we weren't trying to do right, there would be no reason for Satan to pick on us or look for the weaknesses in our “flesh” or “worldly understanding” to use against you. His ultimate goal isn’t just to make you look bad. His ultimate goal is to make your God look bad! Having said all that, when you fall from the enemies blows or by self-inflicted wounds, it is the godly that will not remain there to waller in their squalor! They will not allow their lives to continue to bring shame on their Lord! His glory is their priority and it drives them to get up again and keep moving in the right direction! Let’s stay on our “spiritual” feet and keep moving forward. If we get knocked down, let’s get up again and not give up! We all need more resiliency in our spiritual journey!

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“Don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich. Be wise enough to know when to quit.” (Proverbs 23:4 NLT) 

The idea of the Proverb is that some people will work as long and as hard as necessary in order to gain wealth! Unfortunately, riches can "fly away like an eagle" (cf. 23:5). As quickly as you get it you can lose it. There is nothing wrong with ambition or even attaining wealth unless it drives you to materialism and keeps you from your most important priorities. Materialism is the general idea that your worth is measured by your wealth (things, money, properties, possessions, etc.), and it’s pervasive in our society. There's a lot that needs to be understood about the dangers of materialism, but what connects with me here is the issue of not "[knowing] when to quit." It's easy in our culture to become a workaholic...and you will almost always be praised for doing so by those around you! There's seemingly a never ending supply of things to do that can keep you from getting healthy periods of rest! Rest doesn't necessarily mean inactivity! Sometimes it's just a diversion from your normal routine to do something you find enjoyable. (It may also includes periods of inactivity other than when you are sleeping.) It's mostly a matter of disengaging from your “schedule” to find time away to do something different. The struggle that a lot of us have in a world that is alive with activity 24/7 is in making ourselves STOP for awhile to rest. I have stood by many people that were dying with only days or hours to live and I have never heard one of them say they wish they had worked more or longer hours. Nobody has ever said, "I wish I would have taken one more business trip or made one more sale." However, I've heard some say, "I wish I had more time to be with my family and friends.” Or, "I wish I had more time to enjoy life!” Death has a way of prioritizing things really quick. Total inactivity may not a person's idea of "rest" and if they have young children it may be almost impossible. "Rest" is more than just inactivity! It's about unplugging from work to spend time with your greater priorities! It's about a change of pace so that the ones that mean the most to you can have your presence with them! It's not easy, but it's important! To your family and true friends, love is spelled: TIME...not money or things!

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.” (Proverbs 22:6 NLT) 

The highest responsibility of all parents is “directing [their] children onto the right path.” I can't think of any other task that is more important, takes more wisdom, involves more effort, or has more eternal rewards. Nothing crushes the heart or breaks the spirit of a parent more than knowing his/her child isn’t on the “right path” and is headed toward some kind of destruction (temporal or eternal). Children don’t have the wisdom or capacity to always make good choices without the loving, godly guidance of their parents. Sometimes that means saying “yes” to what they want to do. Sometimes that means saying “no” to their desires, even though it makes a parent unpopular with them for a time. Our job as parents is not to be our child’s best friend. It’s to be our child’s best overseer, advisor, guide and spiritual example. It's to love them unconditionally and make decisions that are in their best interest! Children are pulled in every conceivable direction to conform to society's norms. Without diligent and careful “thought out parenting” it is impossible to stay ahead of all the pressures placed on kids these days. The expectations and influence of schools, coaches, parents, peers, leagues, media, etc., etc., has turned some of our youth into “neurotics” (or worse) and stolen their childhoods. The formative years of a child’s life should primarily be about the basic skills that will go with them the rest of their lives. It should be about having fun, learning to get along with others, loving family, character development, spiritual development, solid education, etc. Too many parents push their children to be adults before they’ve ever been a child and the KIDS in adulthood are reaping the consequences. We’ve got to ask God to give us wisdom and search His Word for direction to nurture our children according to His will and His ways! Seeing your child grow up to follow God is THE (!!) single most rewarding outcome you will ever know in life. The Apostle John wrote, “I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following the truth.” (3 John 1:4 NLT) This verse in Proverbs doesn’t promise that a child will never make a wrong decision that won’t disappoint his/her parents. What it says is that you stack the odds in your favor (God’s favor) when you “direct your children,” rather than letting them chose for themselves. The Psalmist likens children to “arrows” that have to be aimed at the right target. And, the right target is God living in them and through them first, foremost and forever! (cf. Ps. 127:4)

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” (Proverbs 15:1 NLT) 

This verse comes back to a common theme in Proverbs having to do with communication. When someone comes at you angry and slinging hurtful words, you'd be amazed at how often you can shut them down by lowering the tone of your voice and quietly speaking to them in a calm reply. Instead of answering in kind, you soften your response refusing to use inflammatory words like they've used with you. There can't be an argument if there aren't at least two people to argue. (Well, there might be some people that can argue with themselves, I suppose.)  When you refuse to engage the argument in the same manner as the aggressor, you take charge of how the discussion proceeds. The problem is that when most of us feel backed into a corner we come out swinging. (I guess that's what you have to do if you are in a physical fight and being attacked.) But, when it's a verbal conflict you almost always come out better answering calmly instead of with "harsh words!" It seems to me that the whole world is angry anymore. Everybody seems to be carrying a "chip on their shoulder," but we have to remember that the wrath of man doesn't produce the righteousness God desires. (cf. James 1:19-20) The next time you feel attacked by someone verbally, do the opposite thing you normally feel like doing. More often than not you'll be amazed at how quickly you resolve problems rather than making them worse!