John 19:25-27
I want to take you today into the heart and life of the most famous mother of all time. Of course, I’m speaking about the mother of Jesus: Mary. The scripture tells us that at His crucifixion there were four women standing close by as He was giving His life to pay mankind’s sin debt (John 19:25): Mary (Jesus’ mother), Mary’s sister (possibly Salome, the mother of James and John - cf. Matthew 27:56; Mark 10:35; 15:40), Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.
I don’t think any of us would expect to find Jesus’ mother anywhere else other than at this location that day. Where else do you think a mother would be at a time of crisis for one of her children?. She had held Him under her heart until He was born and now she continues to hold Him in her heart even in the most excruciating hours of His life. Clearly, this was the moment that the prophecy given to Mary at Christ’s birth by Simeon was being fulfilled, when he said, “a sword will pierce through your own soul also…” (Luke 2:35) It’s hard to even imagine the grief and agony she was enduring as she watched the nails driven through His hands and feet.
Possibly, one of the reasons this text singles out John separately as “standing by” (19:26) on this day is to imply something beyond the general statement previously mentioned where several “stood by the cross” (19:25). This Greek participle (“standing by” in v.26), used only in reference to John, seems to indicate that he was physically standing next to Jesus’ mother. With the indescribable pain that Mary was enduring at the sight of Jesus on Calvary, John must have been at her side to physically support her during the time of her overwhelming grief. Her body probably grew weak as she watched the cruelty that her Son was experiencing at the hands of the Roman soldiers. His agony of struggling to get His breath, His bloodied and beaten body surely must have been a crushing weight for her to bear. This little detail is a touching reference that allows us to see deep into the heart of a grieving mother.
Really, some of the experiences of Mary as a mother are ones that many mothers can identify with in raising their own children. From the very beginning there were struggles, challenges, and obstacles, as well as many joys that came with fulfilling her mission as Jesus’ mother.
Consider for a moment how the story of Jesus begins with what some might call a “problem pregnancy.” We know from the testimony of the Gospel writers that He was born of the virgin Mary, but the people of Nazareth only knew that Mary was pregnant...though she was not yet officially Joseph’s wife. They could easily do the math and know that things didn’t add up. Mary’s advancing pregnancy told them that Mary’s pregnancy was farther along that it ought to have been. Though the angel had explained to the two of them that the One conceived in her womb was of the Holy Spirit, that was a difficult story for the rest of the people in that small town to comprehend. Just imagine the gossip among the people and how hard it would have been to walk through the city streets without people gawking at you and whispering behind your back. And, if you don’t think that was hard to handle, then you’ve probably never lived in a small town where everybody knows everybody else.
Then there was the occasion after Mary and Joseph had travelled to Bethlehem for the census and Jesus was born, that they had to flee to Egypt for a time. The journey was deemed necessary because Herod had heard from the Magi that a King had been born in Judea and he was determined to assure that his rule would never be threatened. Consequently he ordered all the infants of Judea to be put to death, forcing the move of Joseph, Mary and the Child (Jesus) to this distant land. Of course, this fulfilled another Old Testament prophecy (Hosea 11:1) concerning the birth of Jesus, but it placed an enormous hardship on Mary and her “young child” (Matthew 2:11).
The distance from Bethlehem to the border of Egypt was approximately 80 miles. The full distance to the closest Jewish settlement in Egypt was at least 200 miles from Bethlehem...at Alexandria. Consider the difficulty of travelling such a long distance on a donkey, across difficult terrain, through dangerous territories with a “young child” in tow. Every mother can probably tell you how difficult it is to travel any distance with young children in the back seat (especially...of a donkey) crying and constantly asking, “How much longer?” And don’t forget, they didn’t have iPads, DVD players, air conditioning, padded seats, places to sleep, McDonald’s, Wendy’s, nor were there any signs or car tags from which they could make up games as they travelled. I’m sure every mother can feel some of Mary’s pain if they stop and consider what this journey must have been like for her.
There was also the time when Mary, Joseph and Jesus went up to Jerusalem for the Passover when Jesus was twelve years old. After the feast was over they began the journey back home only to discover after a day of travelling that Jesus wasn’t with the rest of the family. Don’t you think Mary probably ran all the way back to Jerusalem frantically looking for Jesus? If not, you probably aren’t a mother that has ever lost track of one of her children in a shopping mall. But, a lot of mothers can identify with Mary’s feelings.
Three days later, when they finally found Jesus, He was discussing theology with the scholars in the Temple. It was His mother that asked Him, “Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously.” (Luke 2:48) To which Jesus respectfully replied, “‘Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?’ But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them.” (Luke 2:49-50) Again, I think most mothers can identify with how Mary must have felt as she frantically searched for Jesus over those three days.
I don’t want to give the wrong impression, though, Jesus was never a “problem child.” The Bible is clear that He was always careful to obey his parents growing up (Luke 2:51). But, Jesus’ unique identity as the Son of God and Savior of the world sometimes put a strain on His mother and family as He grew into manhood and began His ministry.
Consider, as well, that Jesus had to leave the family business when He began His itinerant teaching and discipleship ministry. This may have been difficult for His mother to accept, as most mothers can attest when a child leaves the safety and provision of the home she has provided. Jesus had a steady job as a carpenter in His hometown, but He left it behind to pursue His calling and purpose. If you’ve ever had a child give up a steady paying job to do freelance work, you know something of how Mary probably felt when He left home to begin ministry.
In addition, He promptly alienated nearly everyone in His hometown when He read in the synagogue one day a Messianic passage from the Old Testament and said that it was all fulfilled in Him (Luke 4:16-30). To top it off, He mentioned Gentiles rather than Jews receiving God’s blessing which only made the people more angry with Him, causing them to drive Him out of their (His) town. Can you imaging the talk at the well of Nazareth about Mary’s Son that was no longer welcomed among them (Luke 4:24)? How do you mothers feel when people talk about your children in a condescending or derogatory way?
On yet another occasion Mary was at a wedding in Cana of Galilee with Jesus when the host ran out of wine. Mary, trying to save the host any embarrassment, suggested that Jesus do something to resolve the matter. Jesus, in turn, gently rebuked her so that she would see His role as the Son of God took precedence over His role as the Son of Mary (John 2:4).
Then there was the occasion when a large crowd gathered around Jesus and His mother and brothers had to wait to see Him. Someone reported to Jesus, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.” (Matthew 12:47) To which Jesus answered, “‘Who is My mother and who are My brothers?’ And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, ‘Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.’” (Matthew 12:48-50) I wonder how Mary felt as she was trying to grasp her changing role with Jesus? Probably many mothers can identify with some of her emotions in trying to figure out her place in the life of her now adult Son. What mother hasn’t felt a little bit ignored as her child came into his/her own? It’s hard to let go when they move out and not expect to be the priority!
Nothing, though, could have compared to how she felt about what was happening on Golgotha that Friday morning. Her heart surely ached with pain as she watched her Son dying on a cruel cross. Every ounce of strength ebbed out of her body and tears flowed down her cheeks until she had no tears left. She must have felt she would die watching this ignominious scene unfolding before her. Had it not been for the fact that John was standing by her (see earlier note), she would probably have collapsed in a heap to the ground...and who would blame her!
Among the many things that amaze me about the cross of Christ, I’ve always been touched by the fact that while Jesus was suffering on Calvary, He was thinking of others before Himself. Of course, that’s the very heart of what Jesus is doing in dying on the cross: taking our punishment so we don’t have to take it ourselves. But notice, before Jesus mentions a personal need (i.e., “I thirst”), He speaks to those around Him (soldiers) and beside Him (thieves) and near Him (Mary and John). In other words, even in the most difficult moment of His life, Jesus is still looking out for others!
In some of the most touching words found in the Gospel accounts of Jesus’ crucifixion, He looks intently at His mother from the cross and says, “‘Woman, behold your son!’ Then He said to the disciple, ‘Behold your mother!’ And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.” (John 19:26-27)
This is deeply moving because even though Jesus is agonizing on the cross, He never forgot the care of His mother. The One that fulfilled all of the Law now shows His continued obedience in fulfilling the fifth commandment to, “honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12).
William Barclay wrote, “There is something infinitely moving in the fact that Jesus in the agony of the cross, in the moment when salvation of the world hung in the balance, thought of the loneliness of His mother in the days when He was taken away.”
Here is an important lesson for all of us to learn: always remember to love and care for your parents and family no matter how difficult it may be to do so. If there was ever a point in the life of Jesus when He could have thought of Himself rather than others, this would have been that moment. But, even in death He remembered to give love to His mother!!
Paul spoke about this very matter when he wrote, “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Timothy 5:8) Love brings with it responsibility and Jesus fulfilled His responsibility perfectly.
Even if you don’t have a mother about whom you can speak honorably, you can always honor her by refusing to speak dishonorably about her. And, as our parents age and need our assistance, we have a God-given responsibility to show them compassion in the waning years of their lives. We live in a culture that devalues the old and infirmed even to the point of discarding them. Jesus, however, teaches us to do exactly the opposite. Even though Jesus can no longer care for His mother Himself, He is careful to see that one of His most trusted friends assumes the responsibility.
However, what I especially want all mothers to hear is that He (Jesus) “SAW” her (19:26)!!
Mothers, do you ever wonder if God sees you? The answer comes from the cross where the Son of God is giving His life a ransom for all mankind: YES, HE SEES YOU AND HE CARES FOR YOU! Usually it’s a mother’s love that is rated as the purest and strongest type of human love. But, the love of Jesus for His mother (and all mothers) exceeds all other loves combined. That Jesus “SAW” her during the hour of His mortal agony illustrates the depth of His compassion for her and for all mothers today struggling to raise their children right!
Maybe you sometimes wonder if your children see you or if they care...the fact is that God always cares for you.
Maybe the question that most begs an answer is, “What did Jesus have that He could give her in these final hours of His mortal life?” After All…
- His body was going to the grave (temporarily).
- His spirit was returning to His Father.
- His clothes had gone to His executioners.
- His peace had been given to His disciples (John 14:27).
- His blood was going to Heaven (Hebrews 9:12).
- All He had left to give her was His friend, John...to care for her the rest of her days. And, that’s exactly what He gave her that day.
History seems to indicate that by this time Joseph had already died, leaving Mary a widow. She was in the mid-life years by now and without an income. As the oldest Son, Jesus had the responsibility of providing for His mother. None of His half-brothers yet believed in Him (Mark 6:3) and none of them apparently lived in Jerusalem. Only John, the beloved disciple of Jesus (and some believe Jesus’ cousin) could be entrusted with this honorable duty of caring for Jesus’ mother.
R. C. H. Lenski wrote, “These two belonged together because these two were losing in Jesus’ death more than the rest. Mary was losing her son, John the master who loved him beyond the rest.”
In committing the care of His mother to John, He was discharging His duty as her eldest Son to make sure she had her daily needs met.
This arrangement may have also been important for John who might have been the kind of believer that needed someone to lean on at times! He could no longer lean on Jesus as he had so often done during those three earthly years, since Jesus would be in Heaven as our Great High Priest! But He could gain much fellowship and strength from Mary's companionship and knowledge! No human could better relate the truth of the Virgin Birth than her! She was much older than John, but I’m sure they both found comfort in the fellowship they had around the Person of Christ!
It’s important to note one more thing about these words of Jesus from the cross. His address to His mother as “woman” should not be taken as showing any disrespect towards her. The term “woman” is actually Jesus’ normal, polite way of addressing other women (Matthew 15:28, Luke 13:12; John 4:21; 8:10; 19:26; 20:15).
However, this term (“woman”) has special significance in this passage because Jesus is showing her that she now needs to see Him not so much as her Son, but as her Savior. She had to begin looking at Jesus as her Lord. If she does this, then she will know that even though His suffering is indescribably horrendous, it is nevertheless glorious because of its purpose.
That might have initially been a difficult transition for her to make, since Mary first met Jesus at the manger in Bethlehem. She had given birth to Him and nursed Him at her breast. Now, she had to meet Him as her Savior at the cross. She needed to lose Jesus as a Son in order to find Him as her Savior!
If Mary needed to meet Jesus at the cross, how much more do you and I need to meet Him at the cross? If Mary needed Jesus to die for her sins, how much more do you and I need Jesus to die for our sins? If Mary needed to trust Jesus as her Savior, how much more do you and I need to trust Him as our own Savior!
It’s certain that John and Mary got the message that Jesus was delivering that day because the scripture says that he immediately he took her to his home in Jerusalem (9:27). Wouldn’t you have loved to have been there after Jesus was resurrected to hear John tell Mary that her Savior (and her Son) was alive from the dead? What a day of rejoicing that must have been for her as a mother and a believer in Jesus!
Finally, we know that Mary was there following Jesus’ ascension back to Heaven awaiting the Day of Pentecost. She was one of the 120 praying in the Upper Room, praying and waiting with all the others for the promise of the Holy Spirit.
Following that account, we don’t know much else about what happened to Mary. One extra-Biblical account says that Mary stayed in John’s home for eleven more years, and only after her death did John go out to preach the Gospel to the Gentile world. Another report says that Mary died in the city of Ephesus while sharing in John’s missionary ministry. We really don’t know what happened to her after Pentecost, but we can be sure that John, being the apostle of love, perfectly fulfilled his new trust.
Mothers…
- God sees you and cares about you more than words can ever express!
- Don’t give up the struggle to teach your children the right way to live.
- The greatest thing you do for your children is to follow Christ yourself. (see Mother’s Day responses below)
I did a little informal survey about what people most loved about their mothers. I got more responses to this question than any question I have ever asked. People know how their mothers impacted their lives. For instance…
- She is the most compassionate, selfless, giving person I have ever known.
- She saw potential in people when no one else could.
- On the day she found out she had a brain tumor, she was counselling someone, trying to help.
However, I believe the most frequently mentioned quality for why people loved their mothers was because she had shown them Christ is some way. For instance...
- Mom lived to be 100 years old and I was #10 of 11 kids. She loved us all the same and made sure we were in church every time the doors were open.
- She taught us how to be saved.
- She had a direct phone line to God!
- The most kindest, Christ-loving woman ever.
