Finding Peace In Solitude

Selected Scriptures

I’ve been a follower of Jesus for the past 41 years of my life. During that time I have learned that there are some very specific spiritual disciplines that you have to incorporate into your life if you are going to grow in Christlikeness.

For instance, each of us has to develop a daily time to meet with God in prayer and His Word. We also have to participate in the gathering of believers on Sundays and connect in Life Groups during the week where we can encourage one another in our walk with God. We have to look for ways to serve others in the family of God, as well as around us in our neighborhoods. And, we have to develop a mindset that we are missionaries every day so that we see the mission field as being right where we live, work and play.

These are just a few of the things that God uses to develop Christlikeness in each of us. What I want to tell you about today, though, is one specific thing that I would make a higher priority in my spiritual journey if I could relive my life with Christ. I'm talking about the discipline of “solitude.” I don’t mean “solitude” in the sense of withdrawing completely as a Catholic monk might do to live in isolation from the world. I do mean, however, setting aside extended periods of time to be alone with God where I could meet with Him without any outside distractions.

“Solitude” is defined in the dictionary as “the state of being or living alone; seclusion.” This definition allows for the idea of withdrawing from the craziness of life to be totally alone with God...uninterrupted.

There is a type of “solitude” that is primarily a state of mind/heart that we also certainly want to experience. Another term for this kind of “solitude” is peace. This “solitude” is something that can be enjoyed by all of us even when we are surrounded by hundreds of people. It is a work that God does in our hearts that brings calm within us even though turmoil is raging around us. It is this kind of “peace” or “solitude” that Jesus promised to His disciples in the Upper Room the night before He was led away to His crucifixion, resurrection and ultimately...His ascension. He said...

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14:27)

This type of “solitude” is produced in us the more we allow the Holy Spirit to control us. It is a supernatural “fruit” that cannot be self-manufactured or mass-produced.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)

Gratefully, we can all enjoy this inner “solitude” because God delights in producing it in us daily. However, the “solitude” of which I am speaking in this message is about something more than the internal peace we all desire, though that will certainly be a result, as well. The “solitude” I have in reference is of the sort where you literally remove yourself from the activities of life for a set period of time for the sole purpose of being alone with God and being quiet in His presence...without distractions.

A couple of years ago my son called me and told me he was going on a spiritual retreat with seven other leaders from his church where he was serving at the time. These men were going to fly from Dallas, TX, to Colorado and stay in separate cabins, secluded from all distractions for three full days. Of course, they were to bring appropriate attire for the colder climate and they were required to bring their Bibles, journals and something with which to write.

They had no cell phone service, no TVs, no radios, no iPods, no iPads, no computers, no other outside disturbances or media of any kind. The only time they met each day was at breakfast, lunch and supper, but even then they weren’t supposed to talk to each other beyond what was absolutely necessary. Nor were they supposed to share during those meals what they were learning from their time alone with God. For a full 72 hours they were to have uninterrupted “solitude.”  

I’ll never forget hearing from him shortly after he returned home and listening to the many things God taught him during those three days away. At the time he was about to change to a new ministry position, he and his wife were buying a house and they were expecting their first child. Needless to say, there was a lot of “noise” going on around him, but during those three days he explained to me how being in “solitude” opened him up to hearing from God in ways he hadn’t heard Him before.  

That’s the kind of “solitude” I wish I had built into my spiritual journey at a much earlier period of my walk with God. I’ve been pretty consistent with my daily routine of “solitude” where I spend time with Him in scripture and prayer. But, there were times in my life when I should have unplugged from everything else that was going on around me and found a quiet place to be alone with God for an extended period of time...in “solitude.”

Maybe if you think of “solitude” as you do your home computer you might better understand one of the benefits of getting away from everything in this fashion. Most of us have had the unfortunate experience of our computers or handheld devices locking up at times. No matter what you do when this happens, the computer won't allow you to do anything. It’s extremely frustrating, as most of you know, and about the only thing you can do is reboot the computer.

Apparently, computers have a brain of some sort where software code gets jumbled up and the only way to clear the memory is to restart/reset it. All of the capability a computer possesses is useless when there is an internal conflict going on. Once you’ve cleared out the memory, the computer usually comes back on and allows you to resume previous tasks.

“Solitude” is sort of like having a “spiritual reboot” in our lives. It allows you to clear out all of the confusion and distractions so that you can hear again the voice of God speaking to you. For too many of us, our spiritual lives are “locked up” with all the things that are trying to access our hearts and minds. Not until we “turn off” all these distractions can we “reboot” and “refresh.”

This whole idea of unplugging from all the busyness of life is a type of “solitude” that Jesus practiced in His ministry.

• For instance, at the inception of His ministry He spent forty days and nights in the wilderness alone.

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry... (Matthew 4:1-2)

• Before Jesus chose the twelve as His apostles, He spent the entire night alone with His Father.

Now it came to pass in those days that He went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God. (Luke 6:12)

• When He received the news that John the Baptist had been martyred, He went to be alone.

When Jesus heard it, He departed from there by boat to a deserted place by Himself... (Matthew 14:13)

• After miraculously feeding 5,000 with two fish and five loaves of bread, Jesus went away by Himself.

And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there. (Matthew 14:23)

• Following a long night of helping those that were sick and infirmed, Jesus withdrew to a lonely place.

Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed. (Mark 1:35)

• When His twelve disciples returned from a preaching mission, Jesus instructed them about the importance of “solitude.”

And He said to them, “Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.”For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. (Mark 6:31)

• After healing a leper Jesus went to be alone from the many demands upon Him.

So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed. (Luke 5:16)

• With three of His disciples He sought a private place on a mountain for the transfiguration.

Now after six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother, led them up on a high mountain by themselves… (Matthew 17:1-9)

• And, just before He was arrested and taken away to His crucifixion, He sought a quiet place in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples,“Sit here while I go and pray over there.” (Matthew 26:36-46)

All of these references point to the fact that Jesus practiced the discipline of “solitude.” However, not nearly enough of us have learned from His example. If we say we are followers of Jesus, shouldn’t we seek to follow Him in this respect, as well?

One author writes, “What makes solitude so important? Solitude is the one place where we can gain freedom from the forces of society that will otherwise relentlessly mold us.” (The Life You Always wanted: Spiritual Disciplines For Ordinary people)

One of the real problems in all of our lives is the hurry with which we are trying to live life. We apparently believe that the more we do the better we will feel about ourselves. But, how often have we found the exact opposite to be true? Almost every imaginable electronic gadget is available to us and all of them are suppose to simplify our lives. Rarely, though, does that actually happen. We just keep taking on more and more tasks that give us less and less time to stop and really hear the voice of God speaking to us.

In the process of all the hurry we have succumbed to exactly what the scripture says should never happen in the life of a believer. We allow the world to “conform” us to its mold (schedule) rather than allowing God to transform us by the “renewing of our minds.”

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:1-2)

Another author wrote, “...the early church fathers placed such a premium on solitude because they considered society to be a shipwreck from which any sane person must swim for his life.” For too many of us, though, instead of swimming away from our shipwrecked society we are caught up in a riptide-like effect that is ever pulling us closer to our own demise.

The nineteenth-century theologian/philosopher, Soren Kierkegaard wrote, “The press of busyness is like a charm...Its power swells...it reaches out, seeking always to lay hold of ever-younger victims so that childhood or youth are scarcely allowed the quiet and the retirement in which the Eternal may unfold a divine growth.”

I believe that herein lies one of the primary reasons some of our children never fully develop a spiritual heart for God that will carry them through the rest of their lives. They have spent so much of their time being hustled to every imaginable activity that keeps them endlessly busy...mostly because parents believe that filling every moment of their children’s lives is the best way to prepare them for life. It might actually amaze you to know how many parents think they have to give their children every available opportunity at every available activity solely because they don’t want another child to get ahead of their own. Such is the nature of modern, competitive parenting that leads to an ever-increasing busyness of life for parents and children!

Parents, would you allow me to share with you a very freeing thought? You don’t have to eliminate ALL (!!) boredom from your children’s lives during their years of growing up. Actually, trying to do so might hinder their full development rather than help it.    

Peter Bergman is a leadership expert. He runs a global management consulting firm. In an article he wrote on this subject, he shared some interesting thoughts about how to become more creative. He says, “Being bored is a precious thing, a state of mind we should pursue. Once boredom sets in, our minds begin to wander, looking for something exciting, something interesting to land on. And that's where creativity arises.”

Could we actually be preventing our children from becoming their best creative selves, primarily because of our incessant schedule of activities and events we’ve allowed for them? It’s at least a thought worth pondering, if you can just find a brief moment to do so.

This whole process of constant busyness is not only potentially harmful to our children, it is also spiritually crippling to the adults that have bought into the lie. What is happening is that in the process of the endless activity for ourselves and/or our children, we are actually trading a robust faith for a rushed, preoccupied and distracted version of faith that is mediocre at best. We’ve come to believe that following Jesus can be done in a hurry and systematized into a “fast-food” delivery system. The fact is, not until we take time to get away daily, and at other times, do we really begin to learn what it truly means to be followers of Jesus.

What has happened in the process of all our daily rush is that modern Christianity has traded wisdom for information and intellect. We have college degrees, but we have no spiritual depth or understanding. We've started insisting that spiritual maturity be delivered to us at a “point in time,” rather than through a process that takes time. Actually, much of the frustration and anger of modern life is solely due to the hurry with which we live our lives.

There is even something called “sunset fatigue” that results from living the hurried life. It is best evidenced when you are just too tired, drained, or preoccupied to love the people to whom you have made the deepest promises.

Maybe hurry makes some of us feel important, as if we are needed everywhere by nearly everybody. It certainly keeps our adrenaline pumping, which often means we’re not looking too deeply into our own hearts and lives. It can keep us from feeling our sense of spiritual loneliness resulting from our steady drift away from God. We may also think it bolsters our own self-image, but it's much more likely to prevent us from accurately bearing the image of Christ.

The truth is...to be spiritually healthy we have to ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives and the place to begin is through planned periods of “solitude.” The constant demands of our hurried-up lives only serve to drain our bodies, deplete our emotions, sap our spirits, and stress our souls. That’s why there must be times when we unplug from the hectic, distracted pace of life and spend some uninterrupted time alone with God.

Just so you know, there are several excellent reasons for building this kind of “solitude” into your life:

1. We can more clearly hear the voice of God speaking to us.
2. We are able to spend more time in meaningful prayer.
3. It serves to recharge our spiritual and emotional batteries.
4. It helps us gain a better perspective of life and avoid rushed decisions.
5. It keeps us from developing a self-inflated ego by demonstrating our dependance on God.

Right now I can probably guess what most of you are thinking, “How will I ever find time for “solitude” with all the things I’ve got to get done in my lifetime?”

Do you hear the error in that question? (It took me a long time to hear it.)

What else in life is more important than spending uninterrupted time alone with God? Too many of us are being shaped and molded by our calendars and schedules rather than by our Savior and the scripture. Isn't it interesting that we can somehow find time for almost everything else...but Him!

So, for those that want to work toward building this discipline of “solitude” into your lives, let me offer you some practical encouragement.

1. Give yourself permission to have a daily routine of “solitude.”

Some people feel guilty if they take even a few minutes away from the “rat race” of life to spend time quietly in God’s presence. However, if you continue pursuing moments of “solitude,” it won’t be long before you will begin anticipating those moments alone with Him.

2. Choose a specific time and location to meet with God.

There will always be “emergencies” that unexpectedly arise to keep you from getting alone with God. Put the time and place of your "solitude" on your calendar and treat it like every other appointment you keep. Don’t let the urgent take the place of the eternal.

3. Experiment with different times and locations for meeting God.

Everybody has a rhythm to their lives and each of us has to find the best times for moments of “solitude.” If you try several locations and times you will eventually find the one that best fits your life rhythm.

4. Be honest with others about what you are doing.

Tell people you are going to be alone with God, reading and praying. People are a lot less likely to interrupt you if they know the significance of what you are doing.

5. Keep your Bible, a notebook/journal and a pen/pencil close by during this time.

Write down all the insights, thoughts and ideas that God gives you while you are listening to Him. It may not be until some time later that He uses the insights to help you in your walk with Him. Don't let yourself forget what He's taught you.

6. Be silent, be still, just listen, and invite Jesus to teach you.

Turn off all your devices that can take your attention away from the purpose of your “solitude.” In our hurry-up world it will take some time and effort to learn the discipline of sitting still and being quiet. If you don’t give up...you’ll get there.

7. Set aside an entire day (or more) once a quarter or two times a year when you can have uninterrupted “solitude.”

God is waiting to spend time with you! He wants to make Himself known to you! But, fellowship with God can’t be done in a sprint.