Proverbs 22:6 may arguably be the single most important verse in the Bible concerning the matter of raising godly children.
The verse speaks about…:
1. The matter of right timing (“Child” refers to the age of infancy to adolescence.)
a. We must train early.
We are to train our children from the earliest age that they can understand what we are teaching them.
Someone asked a farmer, “How do you have such beautiful sheep?” To which he answered, “I take care of the lambs.”
Francis Xavier (who lived in the fifteen-hundreds) once said, “Give me the children until they are seven and anyone can have them afterwards.”
In a park in Los Angles there was a tree that was full-grown and very crooked. The strangest thing about the tree was that next to it was a pole standing straight up and down and a rope tying the two together. The straightness of the pole made the crookedness of the tree that much more obvious. The sad thing about the whole picture was that it was too late to straighten the tree now that it was full grown.
If we wait until our children are nearly grown to begin straightening them, then it is most likely too late.
b. We must train daily.
This is a process that cannot be done haphazardly, but must be done with daily consistency.
“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
(Deuteronomy 6:6-9)
c. We must train thoroughly.
Until the child reaches maturity we cannot stop the training process.
Never, never, never, never, never give up!
The verse speaks about…
2. The matter of responsible tailoring (“in the way he should go” is literally “according to his own way.”)
a. According to maturity
When used in a developmental sense the training must be matched to the age and maturity level of the child.
What works for a young child may not work for an older child and so you must tailor the training for the individual maturity level of the child.
b. According to ability
When used in a vocational sense this verse can mean that we are to train our children according to their aptitudes and abilities.
Some children have an aptitude for things that begins to manifest itself early in life. A wise parent will give training to his child to hone those skills. Too often parents are trying to live their own lives through their children. Their own dreams or ambitions become forced on children that don’t always have an aptitude for these things.
c. According to personality
When used in an emotional sense this verse can mean that we are to train our children according to what best motivates him according to his own personality type.
Some children are excessively sensitive and others are strong-willed. We must make a study of our children’s personalities to determine the best way to train them. That means that the method we used with one child may have to be significantly different for our other children. The old saying, “that’s the way my parents raised me and that’s the way I’m going to raise you” or “it was good enough for me and it is good enough for you” may not always work.
d. According to priority
When used in a moral sense this verse can mean that we are to train our children according to what is the right way. This is the best understanding of the phrase in light of how the word “way” is used elsewhere in Proverbs. Teaching them biblically right from wrong.
Positively Illustrated:
“I have taught you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in right paths.” (Proverbs 4:11)
“I traverse the way of righteousness, In the midst of the paths of justice …” (Proverbs 8:20)
“In the way of righteousness is life, and in its pathway there is no death.” (Proverbs 12:28)
Negatively Illustrated:
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” (Proverbs 14:12)
“Harsh discipline is for him who forsakes the way, and he who hates correction will die.” (Proverbs 15:10)
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” (Proverbs 16:25)
The verse speaks about…
3. The matter of reliable training
a. Demonstration
“Training” involves showing the child what to do. Before a parent can effectively teach his/her children how to live, he/she must first DEMONSTRATE how they are to live. Children learn by the parents’ modeling of godly lives.
Training involves a trainer who can show them the way.
The old anti-smoking commercials illustrated the power of a parent’s example. “Like father, like son.”
b. Education
In post Biblical Hebrew this word (“train”) was used in reference to catechizing children. The catechism is a question and answer method of teaching spiritual truth. It was a means of educating children in the truth so that it became ingrained in their being. By repetition we ingrain biblical values.
c. Initiation
The word (“train”) also speaks of putting dates or honey on the finger and introducing it into an infants mouth to cause him to begin sucking. It is the idea of creating a hunger and thirst for that which is godly. (Keil & Delitzsch, Proverbs)
“Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, And His strength and His wonderful works that He has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob, And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers, That they should make them known to their children; That the generation to come might know them, The children who would be born, That they may arise and declare them to their children, That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments; And may not be like their fathers, A stubborn and rebellious generation, A generation that did not set its heart aright, And whose spirit was not faithful to God.” (Psalm 78:3-8)
“So this day shall be to you a memorial; and you shall keep it as a feast to the LORD throughout your generations. You shall keep it as a feast by an everlasting ordinance.” (Exodus 12:14)
“Then you shall answer them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD; when it crossed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. And these stones shall be for a memorial to the children of Israel forever.” (Joshua 4:7)
d. Dedication
Finally, the word (“train”) is used in Scripture to speak of setting something apart for sacred use (a house—Deuteronomy 20:5, the Temple—1 Kings 8:63; 2 Chronicles 7:5, an image—Daniel 3:2). When you do this you limit how the item may be used. So our training must involve reasonable limits for our children’s own wellbeing. Appropriate discipline and boundaries must be utilized.
“For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them.” (1 Samuel 3:13)
Conclusion:
This passage says that when he is old he will not forsake the things you have taught him. Does this mean that a child will never go astray if we follow this Scripture? A proverb is a literary device that states a general principle not necessarily a specific promise. There are many outside forces that weigh on a child’s life, especially when they reach the later teen years. It is possible that because a child has a free will that he may choose to abandon the things his parents have taught him, but the probability of this is dramatically reduced when you follow the instruction of this passage.
