Does anyone remember the 1988 GM commercial for their new Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme whose tag line was, “This is not your father’s Oldsmobile”? Well, that’s the springboard for my title today. “This is not your father’s church.”
Before we look at what I mean by that title, consider some interesting thoughts about aging:
Someone has said, “You Know You’ve Been out of College Too Long When . . .”
- Your potted plants actually stay alive.
- 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
- You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
- You carry an umbrella.
- You watch the Weather Channel.
- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 5.
- You’re the one calling the police because the kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
- Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
- MTV News is no longer your primary source of information.
- You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
- Grocery lists have more on them than macaroni & cheese, Diet Coke, and Ho-Ho’s.
One lady was talking about the difficulties of staying in shape as she got older. She said, "I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over."
Another man talking about the signs of aging said, "My memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory is not as sharp as it used to be."
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman asked, "What do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She replied, "No peer pressure."
This message really isn’t about the aging process or the difficulties you face in that process, but about the generational “gap” that too often exists in our churches and how we can bridge that “gap” with grace and truth.
Each generation has a specific name or title ascribed to that generation, usually because of a particular event/feature that is associated with that generation. There are several such lists and sometimes there are slight variations in a specific generation’s birth dates. But, this list represents the overall consensus in a fair manner.
1900 to 1924 - G.I. Generation
1925 to 1945 - Silent Generation
1946 to 1964 - Baby Boom Generation
1965 to 1979 - Generation X (also known as the “Baby Busters”)
1980 to 2000 - Millennials or Generation Y
2000/2001 to Present - New Silent Generation or Generation Z
Should we develop churches that are specifically geared to a single generation or should the congregation be composed of many generations? Should we segregate ourselves into subgroups based on generational differences or should we integrate the generations into a unified body of believers?
There are some guiding principles that I believe are found in scripture that can help us be the kind of church that respects all generations.
1. The church is to be a multi-generational body.
While it is helpful to utilize “age targeted strategies” for the purpose of evangelism/discipleship, when those strategies circumvent the church being a cooperating and unified body, there will be a missing dynamic (discussed later) in that church.
A keynote speaker’s bio at a major church conference went like this, “[A certain church] has grown to be one of the largest churches in England with 2,000+ in weekly worship, 70% of which are under the age of 35.”
I understand the significance of what is being promoted and am grateful that so many young adults are being reached. That particular age bracket (generation) often finds faith difficult and success in that realm is to be commended.
What was startling, though, was the POTENTIAL (!!) implication that reaching young adults is more important than reaching older adults or middle aged adults. If the figures had been reversed and 70% of the congregation had been over the age of 35, would that mean the church had been less successful in their mission?
I actually don’t know who wrote the speaker’s bio and I don’t mean to impugn this church or its pastor in any way. I’m just asking a question to make us think about the importance of valuing all generations so we’ll be sure to reach everybody because God loves all generations.
What I do know is that there are places where churches are in significant conflict and decline over generational issues that are driving them apart and segregating their congregations.
Sometimes, in these settings, older adults tend to look at younger people with suspicion and concern. Because younger people look different, dress differently, embrace new technologies, and are filled with dreams and new ideas, they tend to be discredited by the older adults. One of those adults was heard to say, “It’s hard to take someone seriously who only has to shave once a week.”
You’ll also find in these settings that younger adults fear that older adults will always look at them as kids, even though they are adults with their own successful careers. And sometimes younger people tend to disregard the wisdom of older people. They figure older people just don’t “get it” and as a result, they make the older people feel unappreciated.
Tell the story of my dad and his experiences...
Someone has said that, “There is a human tendency for each generation to believe and act like the church exists just for them.” ---Van Giessen
The fact is that God always intended His church to be a multi-generational body of believers centered on Jesus Christ and not their generational differences. Actually, He intended the generations to come together to do His will and win the world with the Gospel.
In this passage (cf. 1 Timothy 5:1-2), Paul is instructing a young pastor how to function in some very difficult circumstances and he emphasizes that multiple generations are present in the church at Ephesus.
Really, churches should have ministries geared to varying ages that are effective in speaking to the specific culture and needs of that generation. But, there also must be times in all congregations when multiple generations can come together for worship in demonstration of their unity.
Maybe if you and I were writing Galatians 3:26-28 in light of the generational conflicts that exist in the church today we would have specifically added age to the equation. But, isn’t that really part of what God is saying anyway?
“For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
We are all “one” body made up of many different types of people from all generations and from lots of different backgrounds, but we must not let any of these distinctions bring division among us.
We need each other and God’s church is to be a multi-generational congregation.
2. The church is to be a mutually respectful body.
Timothy was sent to Ephesus to set things in order (1 Timothy 3:15; cf. Titus 1:5) in the church. He was a relatively young man himself, but he was called to lead a church in crisis. As much as he might appeal to his authority as the pastor of the church to force things done, Paul enjoins him to treat the older and younger men/women with respect.
To “rebuke” an older man was to “express disapproval as a form of punishment, hence ‘to denounce,’ ‘to reproach,’ ‘to reprimand,’ ‘to reprove, censure, or scold,’ or even ‘to speak severely to.’ (A Handbook On Paul’s First Letter to Timothy)
To “exhort” has a broad range of meaning in the New testament. It can mean “to comfort” or “to encourage,” but here it means “to appeal to,” “to admonish,” or “to advise.”
Timothy was to show respect to each of the different generational groups to which he was ministering. Generational differences exist in many congregations, but the body should be characterized by “mutual respect” for one another.
A. Respect toward the older men/women
The Bible repeatedly teaches the ethic of respecting your elders and complements those with graying hair due to their maturing years.
- “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life.” (Proverbs 16:31 NLT)
- “The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old.” (Proverbs 20:29 NLT)
What an unfashionable idea! Gray hair as a "crown of glory," a sign of "experience." God’s values are a far cry from those of our 21st Century culture.
Actually, younger generations must be careful not to treat older generations as “disposable seniors.” We should be treating them as God treats them. Listen to these verses:
- “I will be your God throughout your lifetime -- until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” (Isaiah 46:4 NLT)
- “Grandchildren are the crowning glory of the aged.” (Proverbs 17:6 NLT)
- “Show your fear of God by standing up in the presence of elderly people and showing respect for the aged. I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:32 NLT)
- “The godly will flourish like palm trees and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon. For they are transplanted into the LORD 's own house. They flourish in the courts of our God. Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green.” (Psalm 92:12-14 NLT)
We live in a youth oriented culture that sometimes caters to the younger generations more than to the older ones. If you were to survey the advertising agencies I believe you might find a disproportionate number of dollars are spent trying to reach younger adults with their message more than older adults. I think that’s to be expected as they represent the future of their product lines.
However, we must be careful not to adopt their philosophy and allow a new “ism” to creep into our churches. Someone has termed this as AGEISM which can potentially lead people to believe that only the youth culture matters.
This trend has been defined as, “any attitude, action, or institutional structure which subordinates a person or group because of age or any assignment of roles in society purely on the basis of age.” And, sometimes churches are guilty of making this mistake and failing to respect the older members of their congregation by treating them as if they are less important.
R.C. Sproul Jr. wrote, “When I last crossed a decade barrier in my own aging process, God was good enough to grant me this small bit of wisdom—the Bible honors age, not youth. I came to understand that the disappearance of my youth was something God thought a good thing, and if I were wise, I would agree...” He goes on to say that this is, “easier said than done.”
Paul instructed Timothy to show respect toward his elders, even when doing the hard things (1 Timothy 1:3-11; 3:14-15) that were needed in the Ephesian church.
B. Respect toward younger men/women
In a similar fashion Timothy was also instructed to treat those his age and younger in a respectful fashion, as well.
The Bible does not marginalize younger adults or teens, though it does recognize that experience (and usually wisdom from experience) rests with older adults.
My experience is that you can be young and mature and you can also be old and immature. Maturity is not the sole domain of older adults.
In fact, Timothy is a relatively young man (possibly 30’s or 40’s) when he assumes this role as leader of the Ephesian church. He battles being intimidated by the problems and the older members of the congregation (1 Timothy 4:11-12, cf. 2 Timothy 1:6-7). Consequently, Paul writes to him in this letter to encourage him. He is to use his life and ministry as an opportunity to demonstrate the character that will earn the respect of the Ephesian Christians.
Paul also instructs him to treat the men/women his age and younger as “brothers/sisters,” thus showing them respect.
There is no reason for the church to assign younger adults to the sidelines of church ministry as though they are “second string” players on God’s team. As we’ll see in a moment, there is an important role for older adults to play in guiding the younger adults in learning “the ropes” of the ministry. But, that isn’t to mean they must be treated as incapable servants until they’ve reached an advanced age. Actually, when the wisdom of experience is combined with the strength, ambition and faith of youth there are endless possibilities for the church to succeed in her mission.
The real trouble arises when the younger members do not respect the aged members, marginalizing their wisdom/experience while carelessly relegating their traditions to the past without even understanding the real purpose of those traditions and/or when older members disrespect younger members by dominantly controlling all expressions of faith while refusing to hand off the baton of leadership to the next generation because they don’t trust that generation and are afraid of the things they might change.
The fact is that we need all the generations represented in God’s church. Church shouldn’t be an either/or proposition, but a both/and proposition. We need each generation to be doing the work of God in this world. Put the experience of the older believers alongside the strength and vision of the younger ones and you have a powerful expression of what God intends the church to be in the 21st Century.
For those of us who are quickly advancing in years, let’s treat with respect the younger generations coming behind us. Maybe they won’t do everything the way we did it, but that’s not the most important issue. What we ought to be asking is, “Does the next generation hold the same biblical truths (not personal opinions/preferences) that have guided us through the years?” Younger adults are visionary and energetic with lots of ideas and ambition. Let’s use the wisdom and experience of the older generation to empower the next generation by helping them think through their ideas/ambition so that all things are done according to the truth of Scripture and for the glory of God.
3. The church is to be a maturely influenced body.
Why does the Bible give such emphasis to the elders among us? It’s because our elders have something to teach us — they have life experiences from which we can learn.
“Remember the days of long ago; think about the generations past. Ask your father, and he will inform you. Inquire of your elders, and they will tell you." (Deuteronomy 32:7)
In other words, if the next generation is willing to listen, the older generation can mentor them along their path while reminding them of the values we all hold dear, which are often obscured in modern society. This is a dimension to church which is sometimes lost in an age specific congregation or older church that is really not trying to reach the younger generations.
Paul also wrote a letter to another pastor named Titus to whom he also gave wise counsel about bridging the generation gap. His instruction was similar to what he said to Timothy (Titus 2:1-8). In this passage he shows the importance of a congregation being “maturely influenced” by the members that have “been there and done that.”
“But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed. Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you.” (Titus 2:1-8)
Again, maturity is not the sole domain of the aged or immaturity the sole domain of the young. But, godly mentoring by older members of the body of Christ is invaluable in helping the next generation avoid major missteps. These are experiences that have come to them through their many years of walking with the Lord and doing the work of God.
Four Points of Application:
1. Treat everyone with respect regardless of their age.
2. Don’t write off anyone on the basis of their age.
3. Live in a way that no one can despise your youth or old age.
4. Have someone to mentor, as well as someone to mentor you.
Let’s remember something together: this is not our father’s, mother’s, brother’s or sister’s church. This is our FATHER’S (God’s) Church!
