A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“Interfering in someone else’s argument is as foolish as yanking a dog’s ears.” (Proverbs 26:17 NLT) 

I've come to the last of my thirty-one thoughts for thirty-one days from the thirty-one chapters of Proverbs.There is so much more in this book to be discovered, so keep reading it and pondering it's wisdom from yourself. It is precisely the kind of proverb we are considering today that is the primary reason I love reading the book regularly. 

I’ve never pulled a dog’s ears, but I assume it wouldn’t have a good outcome. Of course, the obvious response of the dog is the reason he uses this analogy. Dogs in the ancient world were not as domesticated as today. They were mostly wild, more like jackals. Consequently, you were making trouble for yourself when you aggravated a dog and it was your fault if you got bitten (like getting stung because you poked the hornet's nest). It could even be deadly, if the dog had rabies. This proverb basically says that we should stay out of other people’s arguments and you won’t get hurt. Interfere in other people’s fights and you might get "punched"! I’d go a step further and say, stay out of everybody’s “business” in general (whatever it is) unless they invite you in to help them. As an example of what I’m saying, I have a love/hate relationship with social media and this proverb expresses some of my reasoning. Why does everybody have to know everybody else’s business? It only invites people into things where they really don't need to be. Of course, there are times when it can be a positive influence, but I’ve seen so many negatives, as well. I love it when people post pictures of their families or travels online. Or, they use social media to encourage, edify and spread the truth of God's Word! Anyway, it’s usually best to “mind your own business” and pay attention to the things going on in your own world. (Please read Prov. 20:3!) Paul put it this way, “Make it your goal to live a quiet life, MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.” (1 Thessalonians 4:11-12) There is a world full of busybodies that think they have a right to "get all up in everybody's business." You’ve probably met him/her...always asking probing questions about private matters, sharing an opinion about something that's not even their concern, or telling you something “juicy” about another person. I can’t help but scratch my head sometimes wondering how they know the things they are passing along. As we know, what a lot of people pass along is usually something less than edifying and mostly gossip. People seem to love prying into other people’s business and occasionally I’ve had to ask someone to politely “butt out!” I have never thought it was a good idea to "yank" a "dog's ears" and Solomon agrees!  

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“As the beating of cream yields butter and striking the nose causes bleeding, so stirring up anger causes quarrels.” (Proverbs 30:33 NLT)  

This proverb actually advises people to strive for peace and harmony through humility and righteousness. I know it doesn’t say it that way, but that’s the essence of the proverb. It does this by reminding us that when you agitate people, you end up “stirring up [their] anger” and that only leads to “quarrels." The first two illustrations in this verse show how “beating” and “striking” both get specific responses. So, irritating and/or provoking someone is going to make that person mad and bring on the responses of "quarrels" and contentions. Again, it’s sort of back to a another proverb that says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” (Prov. 15:1) Being able to avoid an argument or keep from making it worse is the mark of a mature believer. Sure, there are times when you have to confront problems and get unpleasant matters resolved. However, most of the time when you force the conversation or pursue it at the wrong times it only amplifies the problems that already exist. If someone is pushing (“stirring”) you and you feel your temper rising, the best thing you can do is to ask them to wait until a later, set time to discuss the matter. Then, get away and gain your composure and prepare to talk about the “problem” and not attack the person. Anger will almost always make us attack the person rather than the problem. Nothing constructive ever comes from doing so and it usually degenerates into something even worse than the original problem. Another way to say it is, “Don’t push the other person’s proverbial buttons.” I see this a lot in relationships where couples know that certain things they say or do are going to “get under the skin" of the other person. Sometimes it’s intentional and they want to “stir up anger.”  At other times it’s accidental and completely unintended. Again, we have to be able to sit down and resolve issues in a mature fashion. For instance, in a relationship, one person can’t always have his/her way to the exclusion of the other person. A marriage relationship is a partnership that requires two adults being able to learn each others strengths and weaknesses so they can help the other person become better. Sometimes there are things that have to be resolved in a manner that accommodates all persons involved, but it will almost never happen when you are “stirring up anger” rather than maintaining a calm, cool composure. Things to remember:

• You are responsible for how “YOU treat” others.
• You are also responsible for how “YOU react” to others who mistreat you.

Responding in an appropriate fashion takes growing in Christ and with it, you get better with proper actions/responses over time. We all have to work at this because it doesn’t come naturally. It takes God’s help!

A Word From The Wise (Solomon)...

“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.” (Proverbs 29:25 NLT) 

Every time I read this verse the first thing I think of is peer pressure. Different people deal differently with peer pressure. And, it’s not just something kids and teenagers have to confront. At every level of life there is peer pressure and “fearing people” makes us all do some funny things at times. Maybe there's not a way to totally avoid peer pressure, but recognizing its power against you is a major step forward. Of course, I’m speaking of peer pressure when it’s toward the negatives rather than the positives in life. Peer pressure can have a good effect when it’s caused by people that are moving in the right direction. That’s one reason a church is so vitally important in every believer’s life. Among fellow believers you find godly peer pressure that helps you follow God. We can’t always help who is around us, but we can always help how they influence us...for good or bad. I think helping our children learn to recognize peer pressure and know how to respond to it is one of the really important things we teach our children. Helping them choose their friends wisely and showing them how to be leaders are also part of the process of childrearing. Most children are followers by nature rather than leaders and that’s OK. It’s just that we have to teach them what to do when they are pressured to do something they have been taught not to do...or vice versa. It’s in those moments that they are going to have to lead rather than follow. And, they are definitely going to feel peer pressure at times. We ALL feel it at times! I have been in circumstances where I had to make the decision whether I would do what I knew was right or whether I would cave to the pressure placed on me. When we find ourselves in those situations, we have to take refuge in the “safety” the Lord gives. Inevitably those that are pressuring us to do something we really don’t want to do or know we shouldn’t do...will only turn up the pressure. It may be for a time we'll be the butt of every joke they make, but God will be pleased when we do right for His glory. My experience is that whenever I made the right choice to push back against negative peer pressure that the end result was the feeling of peace rather than guilt from giving into it. 

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“Blessed are those who fear to do wrong, but the stubborn are headed for serious trouble.” (Proverbs 28:14 NLT) 

I’m not sure if there are very many people that “fear” to do wrong anymore. It seems like “anything goes” and most people aren’t ashamed to flaunt their evil. Actually, most of them don’t even consider it as evil! I'm concerned about the things our children and grandchildren will be exposed to in the years to come. Part of the problem is that people are shortsighted and don’t understand that even if you get away with something here, it doesn’t mean you won’t answer for it when you stand before God. Our society has thrown off all restraint in the pursuit of their sinful passions. This proverb says that the one who is “blessed” is the one that fears “to do wrong.” They have an understanding of eternal things and know the eternal God. They know the consequences are more than temporary, they may well be eternal. We can’t stop what society around us does, but we can personally live in light of what we know to be the truth about God. A healthy dose of “fear” is good in the believer's life. This is not the fear of losing your salvation, but fear of meeting Christ knowing that you have flaunted His ways, His will and His Word. While the believer is assured of being with Christ in Heaven, there is still the reality of the Judgment Seat of Christ. It’s there that our works will be examined as to whether they were worthy of our Savior and whether we followed His instructions. Some of them will be rewarded, but others will result in our “suffer[ing] loss.” (cf. I Corinthians 3:15) We need to ask God to make us sensitive to things that displease Him and to convict us when we are wrong. We simply don’t want to go on in our “stubbornness” and meet the consequences of doing life our way. Maybe our society doesn’t know right from wrong anymore, but those of us that know Jesus have no excuse. We have a Bible that explains what God requires of us and it’s our lifelong task to learn what it says so we can do right. We must filter everything we do through the truth of scripture. Ask yourself often, “What does God say about this?” Don’t trust your emotions to make decisions in areas where you don’t know if God has something to say about a matter. Christianity seems restrictive to some people, but God knows what is best for us...now and when we meet Him in Heaven. We might talk our way out of some things here, but that won’t happen in His presence!

A Word From The Wise (i.e., Solomon)...

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” (Proverbs 27:17 NLT) 

There’s nothing like a true friend that won’t just tell you what you want to hear, but will tell you what you “need” to hear. A lot of people will never make the effort to develop these kinds of godly friendships that have that level of trust. Our spouses are our first and most important friends! They should have the right to speak into our lives anything that we need to hear. It’s always difficult to hear constructive criticism from a family member, but they know us better than anyone else and see things no one else sees. They also love us more than anyone else will ever love us. But, there must be others to whom we give access to our lives and can speak the truth to us in love. I’m not suggesting we need a lot of these types of friends, but everybody that wants to live godly needs some. I suggest that some of these friendships be with older, godly people and not just those who are our peers. There is nothing like having someone in our lives that has the wisdom of experience, as well as biblical insight, that we can consult when needed. We might also be surprised how much we help that older friend, not just how much he/she helps us. The best place to build these friendships is in a local church setting! Friendships like these can’t be forced, but usually develop naturally out of spending time with other people seeking God. It’s not like we go to somebody and say, “Will you be my friend?” The friendships I’m talking about develop over time and happen naturally. As your friendship grows we give these individuals increasing privileges to say to us whatever needs to be said. We don’t have to accept everything they say or tell us to do, but it’s helpful to hear an outside perspective. It needs to be people that love us enough to encourage our walk with God and aren't afraid to tell us when you get “too close to the edge.” There’s also the larger body of friends like many of us have in a Life Group or Sunday School class that become invaluable to us along our faith journey. They share life together with us and encourage us to be faithful to the Lord in a less personal way. We just need people along the journey of life to help us stay true to our faith. We all have a tendency to drift spiritually and “a friend sharpens a friend” by helping us stay focused on the Lord and the right way to live.