Seven Life Lessons I learned From My Mother

2 Timothy 1:3-5

I thank God, whom I serve with a pure conscience, as my forefathers did, as without ceasing I remember you in my prayers night and day, greatly desiring to see you, being mindful of your tears, that I may be filled with joy, when I call to remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also. (2 Timothy 1:3-5)

On this Mother’s Day we want all our mothers to know that they are deeply loved and appreciated for the myriad of sacrifices they make and all the love they give. There is no possible way to fully measure the impact of a godly mom on her children until we reach eternity and the Lord reveals all that they have done for us. I think it goes without saying that a mother who is spiritually healthy and nurturing her children according to scripture has the greatest influence on her children for God and for good. And, there is no higher calling in this life than the one given to moms in shaping the next generation. If I could challenge mother’s today with one thought it would be for them not to cede their role in their children’s lives to anyone else. Make whatever sacrifices are necessary to be with your children and to raise them for the glory of God. They will remember your love and what you teach them more than any other lessons they may learn elsewhere in life.

Recently, I read an article that pointed out some funny things children learn from their moms. For instance…

1. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
2. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."
3. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
4. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
5. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
6. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
7. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
8. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
9. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
10. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."
11. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
12. My mother taught me HUMOUR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
13. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
14. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
15. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

That list caused me to think about some of the life lessons I learned from my mother while I was growing up. She is 91 years of age this past January and she still goes to work one day a week at my brother-in-law’s company. She is the strongest, bravest and most faith-filled lady I have ever known. Throughout the years she has been the “rock” in our family. Whenever our world was turned upside down by some life trauma or event, we always went to our mother for help. She inevitably knew what to do in any given situation and if she couldn’t solve the problem, she always encouraged us to face our struggles with grace and faith in God. She has survived serious health reversals, polio, family deaths, the passing of my father (her husband of 68 years), the general aches and pains you increasingly experience with the aging process, and a myriad of other things I probably don’t even know. But, what I will always remember most about her is her undying faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. She modeled for my sisters and me the true meaning of being a follower of Jesus and she has faithfully honored Him her entire life.

There are too many life lessons I learned from her for me to mention them all, but I want to highlight seven that shaped my life profoundly and should be shaping all of our lives. Maybe these will challenge all our moms to think about how your children will remember you when they are grown and the lasting impression you make on them.  

My mother taught me...

1. Whatever you do, do it well.

I can’t tell you how many times my mother told me as a child that I should always do my best. She was insistent that I learn the lesson that if something is worth doing, it is worth doing right. She never expected me to do things I was incapable of doing, but she always encouraged me to give my best in every endeavor I undertook. She was my greatest cheerleader and the chief encourager in my life. She knew my limitations as a kid better than anyone else, but she always pushed me to excel in the areas that were important for life and where I had apparent abilities.

One of my most difficult struggles as an early elementary student was with reading, as well as with comprehension of the material. I had fallen behind the rest of my class in this area and my mother was determined to help me improve. She believed that I could do better, even if I couldn’t do what all the other kids could do. Consequently, for a few summers, I went one day a week to a classroom at Tony Elementary School where I spent time working on my reading skills. All the other kids were out having a good time for the summer, but there I was stuck in a classroom reading line after line, trying to catch up to the other kids. To be honest, I hated every minute of it and I probably made her life miserable with all the complaining I did about it. But, all these years later I thank God that she didn’t let me quit and pushed me to do my very best.

While I was still in elementary school, I also had a job during the summer of cutting my grandfather’s grass. I’m sure my mother arranged it for me to make some extra spending money, but I was excited about getting started. After cutting the grass the first time I was ready to leave. When my mother checked my work, a common occurrence in all my early endeavors, she quickly pointed out that though the lawn was mown, I had not trimmed around the house or swept off the sidewalk, driveway and patio. She proceeded to explain to me that I wasn’t through until ALL the yard work was finished. So, for another hour or so I trimmed and swept until the job was totally complete. I might mention that due to the type of grass in my grandfather’s yard and the slope of it from front to back, cutting the grass was no easy task. Thankfully, my mother didn’t just tell me to complete the job, she worked to assist me with these details I had overlooked and to show me how it should be done.

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men… (Colossians 3:23)

2. Treat senior adults with respect and honor.

There are many ways for parents to teach their children to respect their elders, but one that was common in the south was by having your children to address adults with “yes ma'am,” “no ma'am,” “yes sir,” “no sir” and to always refer to adults as Mr. or Mrs. I don’t ever remember calling ANY adult by his or her first name.

I realize that these traditions didn’t always mean that the attitudes of the kids were respectful, but it was one of several ways that my mother taught me to honor my elders. I was never, as a child or teen, allowed to speak disrespectfully to any adult, nor show attitudes that reflected the same. I was taught to view these senior adults as men and women of wisdom and experience. I was taught that I needed them in my life because they could help me better myself by listening to them and being around them.

One of the things my mother did when I was growing up was visit elderly people, often ones that lived alone. I have personally made many visits with her to see these friends as she would spend time encouraging them and filling their loneliness with conversation and laughter. One of the ladies I most remember was a lady by the name of Mrs. Bobo. She lived in the Forest Park area of Atlanta and about once every week or two my mother would take me with her to see this dear lady that had been widowed. She lived in a modest home with a fenced in back yard where I would occasionally go play while she and my mother talked together. Many times, however, I stayed inside and listened to the conversation.  

What grew in my heart during those visits, and others like them, was a respect for seniors and a compassion for the struggles they have to endure in their lives. When I was a teenager I had some of the same rebellious tendencies teens have today, but I rarely spoke ill of senior adults. I had learned that doing so was disrespectful not only to the people in view, but it was dishonoring to the things my mother taught me during these many visits. It wasn’t until I matured a bit that I began to realize the importance of this life lesson she had taught me. I know now that what I learned from her has deeply impacted my life and ministry to this day.

I can still hear my dad say in his later years of life, “When you get older, people push you aside as if you don’t matter.” My mother taught me that everyone matters, even those that are past their prime in life and what they have to give may be the most important gift you will ever receive.

Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged. Fear your God. I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19:32)

3. Stay close with your family.

God has blessed me with a good family that has stayed together throughout their entire lives. We’ve not known the pain of divorce or angry division, as some families have experienced. I don’t mean to add any guilt or pain to those that have had a different family experience to mine. For you, this life lesson might look different than it looks for us, but there is still the possibility of you practicing it, too.

One of the most important things my mother taught me growing up was to love, respect and honor my dad. To this day, I believe he was the wisest man I have ever known. And, though my sisters and I argued like all children growing up in a house together, I love them both beyond what I could ever hope to express publicly.

One of the things my mother has been intent on teaching all of us is that we should never let ourselves drift apart from each other. As a matter of fact, if any of us wants to know what’s going on in the lives of our siblings we need only call our mother to get the latest inside scoop. She is constantly reminding us to stay connected to each other as we go through the joys and struggles of life.

As my mother has advanced in years she has told us numerous times that when she is gone to Heaven that she expects her three children and their families to continue calling one another, getting together at various times, and loving each other till we all meet her over there.

Every once in awhile my sisters and I will disagree on some matter while we are visiting together on vacation. (Imagine that!!) It used to scare my wife because as an only child the only person she had to convince of her opinion was herself. However, though my sisters and I share most viewpoints in common, we still have different ideas and opinions about some matters in life. During one of our family “discussions” while at the beach my mother stopped us in the middle of the conversation to remind us that no matter whether we agreed or not on the issue, we still had to love each other and follow her instructions to stay close as a family. Of course, we all laughed and agreed that nothing would ever keep us apart or diminish the love we have among ourselves. Then...we continued our “discussion.”

Those who bring trouble on their families inherit the wind. The fool will be a servant to the wise. (Proverbs 11:29 NLT)

4. Patience is a virtue.

If I’ve heard it once I’ve heard it a thousand of times in my lifetime, “David, patience is a virtue!” For my mother, patience meant endurance and never giving up no matter how hard the situation is at the time. I’ve always had a tendency to get frustrated when things aren’t going as smoothly as planned. On more than one occasion as a child I have wanted to quit something because it got too hard for me, I thought. Or, during my teens and adult years I’ve dealt with things that would make me want to throw up my hands and do something different. However, I can always hear my mother whispering in the back of my mind saying, “Don’t forget what I’ve always told you, patience is a virtue.” And her advice has saved me from making some bad mistakes.

I know that I'm a person of average intelligence and average ability. I don’t have any exceptional qualities or gifts that propel me into the limelight of recognition or favorability. My personality has never been described as “charismatic” or overly winsome. I have no great leadership skills that enable me to navigate the challenges life throws at me. However, the one thing I trust I have learned is something my mother drilled into my head over and over again, “Be patient and don't quit.”

What a pleasant surprise it was to learn many years later that the one quality God is most looking for in His people is faithfulness. No one will ever prove to be faithful if they aren’t patient.

But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (James 1:4)

5. Church services are your priority.

I didn’t come to know the Lord personally until I was 16 years of age, but that is no fault of my parents. From the earliest days of my life I was taken to church whenever the church was gathering for worship. We only missed services when we were sick or on vacation. At no time were we allowed to prioritize anything that took us away from Sunday worship. When I was old enough to work a job as a teenager, I wasn’t allowed to take a job that required me to work on Sunday. After all, having insurance for your car wasn’t as important as obeying the command of God to gather for worship at church. I was never permitted to play in a golf tournament or in baseball games that required me to miss Sunday services. The reason I was in church on the Wednesday night I received Christ as my Savior is because I had no other option. My mother insisted that I be there and thank God she did!!

I’ve heard parents argue that their children’s absence from worship services is the same as if a person’s job requires them to work on Sundays. So, what you are saying is that your children now “work” for the leagues, pageants, schools, etc. How much do they make? How does that affect their amateur status? Do they pay taxes? You are saying that your child being away from church on Sundays is the means by which you feed your family and put a roof over your heads? There is NO parallel between Sunday sports, leagues, pageants, school events, etc., to a paying job necessary to sustaining a family income.

OK! Now that I’ve made that point, let me be sure to explain that I am not saying your child should never miss any Sunday except for sickness or vacation. I am saying, however, that because my mother prioritized church services I met Christ as my Savior, was called to the ministry and still prioritize Sunday worship today.

Some children have no idea what faithful attendance at church looks like. They’ve spent so many weekends in various competitions and on trips away that they have little or no interest in being committed to God’s work. They’ve missed the friendships, music, sermons, lessons and worship that might have unlocked their greatest potential and their greatest joy that comes from knowing and serving Jesus. My mother knew that we were only going to do more of what we learned to do as children and she made sure we learned the importance of church services.

And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:24-25)

6. Don’t borrow trouble.

I wish this lesson I learned from my mother had been better mastered in the course of my life. My shortcomings in this area aren’t due to her lack of effort in teaching me this truth. It is due to my own failure to apply it effectively to my life. To this day she reminds me to trust God and rely on HIm!

My mother faced some pretty difficult trials in her life where trusting God was the only thing she could do. Recently, I called her to ask about how a specific medical test turned out, since I hadn’t heard any results. At the time she hadn’t heard anything either and her response, “It will be ok. God is taking care of me!” Just in the past few weeks tornado warnings were issued for the area where she lives and I asked her about her emergency plan. After explaining what she had in place in the event of a storm, she said for me not to worry, she is trusting God to get her through it safely (and He did). On another occasion I asked about the health of one of my sisters. After she told me the information I wanted to know she said, “I’ve prayed about it and believe God is going to take care of it.” When my dad died a few years ago and I was worried about her staying alone at the house, she reminded me that God was her protector and provider. That is just a sampling of the kinds of things my mother has repeatedly told me during some of the most difficult experiences you can imagine. I don’t know of a time when my mother worried about “tomorrow.” She always seemed to trust that God would take care of her tomorrows when she got there and committed them to Him in prayer.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

7. Spend quality time with God.

The most important thing my mother taught me concerns my relationship with God and spending quality time with Him. My mother prayed for my eternal soul regularly and that I would awaken to the truth of God’s love. I have watched her as she sat in our house with her Bible open reading God’s Word for herself and sometimes reading it to us as kids. I have been in church services as a child and she had her Bible open on her lap following as the preacher brought the message. I have witnessed her in my dad’s Sunday school class with her Bible open following the lesson for that day. I have heard her claim the promises in the scripture and listen to her quote the text on which her faith rested.

I have seen in my mother what it really means to have a living, loving relationship with Jesus. It was her faith, more than anyone else's, that influenced my life for God. She has served the Lord with all her heart. She has honored Him throughout her life. I don’t know where I’d be today if not for the godly mother He gave me who was committed to investing in my life the kind of life lessons that really matter for eternity.

But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. (Matthew 6:6)

Conclusion:

• Mom’s, what kind of life lessons are you investing in your children?
• How will your children remember you when they are grown adults?
• What eternal truths are you implanting in your children’s hearts that will shape the rest of their lives?
• Will your children love God more than you when it’s all said and done?

This is a BIG and IMPORTANT job committed to every mother. Don’t let anyone tell you that being a mom is not the most important role you play in life!!