All In The Family (Part #2)

Ephesians 5:22-33

In this short series about marriage and family, we’re not going to have a separate message for the ladies. However, the scripture has much to say to wives and how they should conduct themselves in their families and toward their husbands. In this specific passage, women are instructed to “submit” to their “own husbands,” which is something that is still important today. However, the biggest problem with the concept of a wife’s submission is the misrepresentation of what it actually means.

For just a moment consider that there were three kinds of marriages that were prevalent in the first century. One type involved a married woman who was still under the authority of her father. Another was where a married woman functioned independently of both her husband and her father. And, there was the married woman that submitted to her “own husband,” which served to provide unity, structure and order in the family.

Unfortunately, some people have taken the idea of a wife submitting to her husband beyond what the Bible teaches. Submission did not indicate the modern chauvinistic ideas of servile subjugation, docile subservience, or mindless subordination. Nor was it the childlike obedience as is rendered by children to their parents.

Submission is better represented in words like understanding, support, encouragement, respect, loyalty, all of which serve to produce order, unity, harmony and a truly loving partnership in marriage.

Clearly, from Paul’s instruction about submission, there is no place in marriage for a wife’s manipulating, controlling, conniving, and/or stubborn independence. Nor is there any place for other such attitudes and/or actions that serve to undermine the harmony, unity and love in the marriage relationship.

Actually, in this passage, the greater responsibility is placed on the husband and his attitude/actions towards his wife. His love for her is to be like that of Jesus Christ! It is to be a selfless, sacrificial, and serving love that always seeks the best for his wife. Four times in these verses husbands are instructed to love their wives (5:25, 28 [twice], 33) and that love is to be like the love shown by Jesus in dying for our sins.

This whole concept of how a husband was to treat his wife would have been a revolutionary concept in first-century society. Instead of just the wife sacrificing for her husband, the husband was also to sacrifice for his wife. This was totally countercultural!

In other words, the way a husband submits to his wife (cf. 5:21) is by sacrificing his own needs for her needs. Instead of being the ruler of his wife, he is to be her servant...even to the place of giving up his life for her.

Each of the four times Paul says that a husband is to love his wife, he uses the strongest word avilable for love in the Greek language. It is a love that always GIVES itself to/for others: Ephesians 5:2, 25; John 3:16.

So, let’s ask the question of scripture concerning this love, “What should a husband give to his wife?”

1. He should give her himself.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (Ephesians 5:31)

The text clearly says that a man “leaves his father and mother” so he can “hold fast to his wife.”

• He is to leave his parents emotionally.
• He is to leave his parents financially.
• He is to leave his parents physically.

There is a growing phenomenon among many young men who simply do not want to grow up. They drift in and out of jobs, live with their parents or their college buddies, and focus a lot of their energy on watching sports, playing video games, and chasing women.

The difference between this generation of young men and previous ones is that they are delaying marriage longer than before, and our culture is encouraging them to prolong adolescent behavior.  One sociologist writes about this phenomenon and says, “Guyland...is the world in which young men live. It is both a stage of life, [an] undefined time span between adolescence and adulthood that can often stretch for a decade or more, and...a bunch of places where guys gather to be guys with each other, unhassled by the demands of parents, girlfriends, job, kids, and the other nuisances of adult life. In this topsy-turvy, Peter-Pan mindset, young men shirk the responsibilities of adulthood and remain fixated on the trappings of boyhood, while the boys they still are struggle heroically to prove that they are real men despite all evidence to the contrary.

“However, manhood means taking responsibility—for your choices, for your family, for your community, and for the next generation.  A key step to becoming that man (for most) is to be married and raise a family.

“Unfortunately, our sinful, human nature craves independence; we want to go our own way, while avoiding the responsibilities we have to God and to other people.  We live in a culture that celebrates youth, beauty and independence—even at the expense of growing up.  Too many young men are immersed in a world of media entertainment and diversions that tell them it’s okay to live a self-centered lifestyle, free of commitments to anything except their own endless and mindless pleasure.”

Sometimes the most important thing I can say to a husband is, “GROW UP!” God says that in marriage a man gives himself TO HIS WIFE and leaves boyhood behind!

2. He should give her attention.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church… (Ephesians 5:28-29)

We naturally give attention to our own needs and to meeting our needs. In marriage our attention as husbands turns first to our wife’s needs before our own.

It’s not unusual that in marriage our wives are merely reflecting back to us (mirror illustration) how we have treated them. Husbands that don’t like the way their wives respond to them can often trace the problem right back to themselves.

For most wives, love is not measured by the number of things they have, the neighborhood where they live, the designer clothes that they wear, the types of automobiles they drive, the country club to which they belong, etc. Love is measured in time spent together, as well as the effort made to be there with your wife to listen and love who she is as a person.

Dr. Willard Harley, a marriage counselor and prolific author, lists some of the most common complaints he hears from wives in his marriage counselling.

• "I hurt all the time because I feel alone and abandoned."
• "My husband is no longer my friend."
• "The only time he pays attention to me is when he wants sex."
• "He is never there for me when I need him the most."
• "When he hurts my feelings he doesn't apologize."
• "He lives his life as if we weren't married; he rarely considers me."
• "We're like ships passing in the night, he goes his way and I go mine."
• "My husband has become a stranger to me, I don't even know who he is anymore."
• "He doesn't show any interest in me or what I do."

Dr. Harley goes on to say, “The most common reason women give for leaving their husbands is ‘mental cruelty.’ When legal grounds for divorce are stated, about half report they have been emotionally abused. But the mental cruelty they describe is rarely the result of their husband's efforts to drive them crazy. It is usually husbands being indifferent, failing to communicate and demonstrating other forms of neglect...

“Another reason for divorce reported almost as much as mental cruelty is ‘neglect’ itself. These include both emotional abandonment and physical abandonment...When all forms of spousal neglect are grouped together, we find that it is far ahead of all the other reasons combined that women leave men…

“Simply stated, women leave men when they are neglected. Neglect accounts for almost all of the reasons women leave and divorce men.”

Men have to battle the “conquer and move on” mentality. It’s part of the nature of who we are as men. We see something we want, we focus and work for it until it’s ours. Then, we move on to conquer the next great conquest before us. Consequently, wives too often feel like they’ve been fooled by a “bait and switch” scheme. They can’t figure out where their romantic, attentive and selfless fiance (now husband) has gone.

Men...we must make the adjustments to our lives so that we can obey the scripture to love our wives like Christ loved the church. We have to continue to give them our attention and listen to their hearts. We should be seeking to please our wives, not just ourselves!

But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:33 NLT)

3. He should give her kindness.

Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. (Colossians 3:19)

Additional Translations:

• Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly. (NLT)
• A husband must love his wife and not abuse her. (CEV)
• Husbands, love your wives and be gentle with them. (NCV)

There is no place in marriage for the kind of harshness that too often characterizes the world around us. If there is a safe place on this earth for your wife, it ought to be with you...her husband. This isn’t to suggest that there will never be disagreements, but that our attitudes, actions, words and deeds are most often characterized by lovingkindness.

This scriptural instruction would call for patience with our wives’ faults and failings. It also involves a refusal to vent toward them the bitterness generated by outside circumstances.

This type of lovingkindness and compassion is described in a book by Dr. Robert Seizer, entitled, Mortal Lessons: Notes in the Art of Surgery. In it he tells of performing a surgery to remove a tumor in which it was necessary to sever a facial nerve, leaving a young woman’s mouth permanently twisted in palsy. Dr. Seizer’s writes:

“Her young husband is in the room. He stands on the opposite side of the bed, and together they seem to dwell in the evening lamp light, isolated from me, private. Who are they, I ask myself, he and this wry-mouth I have made, who gaze at and touch each other so generously, greedily? The young woman speaks. ‘Will my mouth always be like this?’ she asks. ‘Yes,’ I say, ‘it will. It is because the nerve was cut.’ She nods, and is silent. But the young man smiles. ‘I like it,’ he says. ‘It is kind of cute.’ All at once I know who he is. I understand, and I lower my gaze....Unmindful, he bends to kiss her crooked mouth, and I, so close, can see how he twists his own lips to accommodate to hers, to show her that their kiss still works.”

That is the love of kindness and compassion… It seeks not to embarrass or to point out the other’s faults. It passes over your spouse's weaknesses without drawing attention to them. It desires to lift with encouragement and gentleness so that our wives feel VALUED!

4. He should give her understanding.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

Every husband should make his wife the study of his life. It’s impossible to fully understand all there is to know about your wife, but husbands must continually be learning all they can about them.

There is a funny article about knowing “The Rules” when it comes to understanding our wives.

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.
3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.
7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without the express, written consent of The Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.
14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.
15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
16. Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.
17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

Whatever “The Rules” might be, a husband should seek to understand his wife’s likes, dislikes, interests, ambitions, desires, strengths, weaknesses, goals, dreams, etc.

5. He should give her honor.

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:7)

(One note about 1 Peter 3:7, when the text refers to the wives as “the weaker vessel,” this has nothing to do with her intellect, abilities or character. It either refers to her muscular strength generally being weaker than that of the man and/or a reference to the “weaker” status women were given socially in the first century. Women of that time period were often treated more like property that persons.)

This involves treating our wives with respect, something first-century women too seldom received.

Listen to how the scripture describes a loving wife:

• He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)
• House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. (Proverbs 19:14)
• An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. (Proverbs 31:10)

Those verses express the great value of a wife to her husband. Wives should be treated like an expensive diamond that is preserved and protected with the greatest of care. She should be seen as something of rare value that you treasure like a family heirloom.

Maybe for men it would be better to think of her like the football on superbowl Sunday that has to be protected and put away to win the game. If you are careless with the game ball you will almost certainly fumble it and cost your team the game. How many men had the ball handed off to them (a father giving his daughter to him), but they didn’t protect it as they should and it cost them the game (their marriage)? It’s sad, but there are too many to count.

Closing:

What we want to do, men, is make our wives FEEL loved. Talk to your wife and listen to her. Let her tell you the things that mean the most to her and do them. Make sure to keep your focus on her and not just on your next venture.

Let me put this in the language most men understand and the way Paul described it.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:28)

This verse doesn’t indicate it is OK to be selfish in marriage; that’s the opposite of everything this passage (Ephesians 5:22-33) teaches. However, the fact remains that a man that selflessly, sacrificially loves his wife will reap the innumerable benefits that return to him for doing so.

All In The Family (Part #1)

Selected Scripture

There was a popular TV series that lasted from 1971 to 1979. The title of the series was “All In The Family.” There were four main characters:

1. Archie Bunker...father, gruff, bull-headed, bigoted, a chauvenist
2. Edith Bunker...mother, humble, meek, naive, obedient, peacemaking
3. Gloria...daughter, opinionated, feminist, stubborn like her father
4. Mike…(called “Meathead” by Archie) son-in-law, “do-less” type, the antithesis of Archie

Do you remember that show? Maybe your family is a confusing mix of people like those in “All In The Family” and it makes you wonder if you’ll ever make it all work. Maybe you’re just looking for a way out of the mess of confusion in your marriage so as to alleviate your pain. You’ve begun to wonder if your life and marriage is ever going to turn around.

There’s a funny story about a man and his wife who owned a country grocery store. While delivering orders one day in his station wagon, the grocer accidentally injured an old lady. The lady sued and was awarded a large sum of money that forced him out of business.

After a few difficult years he managed to accumulate enough money to open another grocery store. But, a few months after opening, one of his delivery trucks struck an older gentleman. The man sued and collected a big settlement, enough to put the grocer out of business a second time.

One day, on a peaceful Sunday afternoon the grocer was sitting in his living room when his little boy entered and cried out, “Dad, Dad, Mom’s been run over by a great big bus.”

The grocer’s eyes filled with tears, and in a trembling voice he said, “Thank the Lord, my luck’s changed at last.”

Well, I hope your marriage isn’t that bad or that you’d fail to mourn your wife being run over by a “big bus.” But whatever shape your marriage is in, I think the subject matter of this series will be helpful to us all. This isn’t going to be an exhaustive study of all things related to family life, but we will deal with some foundational issues that can help strengthen your marriages.

The scripture is clear that…

“Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.” (Psalm 127:1 ESV)

We need the Lord’s grace and wisdom to build strong families that impact our communities, schools, churches, world, etc.

What we’ll talk about today has to do with what a Christian marriage looks like. And, perhaps we should begin with a simple definition: “A Christian marriage is one where there is a mutual commitment of both husband and wife to Christ and His truth for life.”

If we break down this definition of a Christian marriage, it looks something like this:

A Christian marriage is one where both husband and wife…

1.   Receive Christ

• For those of you who are not yet married, God commands that your future marriage only be to another believer that is growing in Christ. When Christ is the center of your home then you share a (spiritual) dimension in marriage that unbelievers simply cannot experience or even understand. There is an inner conviction and power to love more completely the one God has given to you in marriage. To marry outside of Christ is to circumvent the blessings God desires you to know in marriage. Can you imagine loving someone your whole life knowing that he/she is going to be separated from God forever? Can you think of spending a lifetime together only to realize that when one or the other dies, it is a goodbye forever?

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)

“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:39)

One young lady was heard to pray on her wedding day…

“Dear God, I can hardly believe that this is my wedding day. I know I haven’t been able to spend much time with you lately, with all the rush of getting ready for today, and I’m truly sorry. I guess, too, that I feel a little guilty when I try to pray about all this, since Larry still isn’t a Christian. But, oh, Father, I love him so much, what else can I do? I just couldn’t give him up. Oh, You must save him, somehow, someway.

“You know how much I’ve prayed for him, and the way we’ve discussed the Gospel together. I’ve tried not to appear too religious, I know, but that’s because I didn’t want to scare him off. Yet he isn’t antagonistic and I can’t understand why he hasn’t responded. Oh, if he only were a Christian.

“Dear Father, please bless our marriage. I don’t want to disobey You, but I do love him and I want to be his wife, so please be with us and please don’t spoil our wedding day.”

Though that prayer sounds sincere and earnest, when stripped of it’s pious language, it really says something like this:

“Dear Father, I don’t want to disobey You, but I must have my own way at all costs. For I love what You do not love, and I want what You do not want. So please be a good God and deny Yourself, and move off Your throne, and let me take over. If You don’t like this, then all I ask is that You bite Your tongue and say or do nothing that will spoil my plans, but let me enjoy myself.”

• For those of you that are already married and your spouse isn’t yet a believer, then your daily prayer and greatest desire ought to be that God would use you to reach your spouse with the Gospel. You can’t hide your faith or fail to show him/her what it truly means to follow Christ and how that changes a person’s entire outlook on life and the life after. Through quiet obedience and a testimony of faith you must be asking God to convict and draw your spouse to Himself.

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God…” (John 1:12)

“For ‘everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’” (Romans 10:13)

A Christian marriage is one where both husband and wife…

2.   Adore Christ

“And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’” (Matthew 22:37)

A Christian marriage is one where husband and wife love Christ above anyone or anything else in life. The hardest thing for some people to understand is how loving God more than loving your spouse helps you love your spouse more...but it does! You are able to love them with a love you did not have apart from Christ and He is able to love them through you. One of the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE! It is the God of love in you that helps you to love like He loves.

“And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” (Romans 5:5 NLT)

Think of it this way, “Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.” --Antoine De Saint-Exupery

The qualities of love that are found in 1 Corinthians 13 are perfectly demonstrated in Christ. Now that Christ lives in us as His children we have the ability to love more fully and deeply than ever before.

A Christian marriage is one where both husband and wife…

3.   Obey Christ

A Christian marriage is one where God’s Word governs every aspect of the couple’s lives together: relationships, activities, ambitions, decisions, attitudes, etc. The greatest desire of a Christian is to obey Christ from the heart. If there isn’t the desire to submit to Christ and follow His Word, there is something terribly wrong spiritually in your life.

Jesus said,  “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” (John 14:15)

Jesus gave a powerful analogy about those who claim to love Him, but don’t obey Him. Listen to His words in a modern translation of Luke 6:46-49.

“So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say? I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.” (Luke 6:46-49 NLT)

Strong Christian marriages (the kind that stand the test of time and storms) are built on obedience to the scripture and its truth!!

A Christian marriage is one where both husband and wife…

4.   Worship Christ

There used to be a phrase that said, “The family that worships together, stays together.” Sure, we can all point to some couples that worshipped together on Sunday’s whose marriage didn’t make it, but the percentages of successful marriages increases significantly when husband and wife are both worshipping the Lord together.

Too many couples leave the church in pursuit of things that don’t draw them closer to Christ (careers, amusement, travel, pleasure, etc.). And, too often, these things prove not to be stepping stones, but stumbling blocks to their spiritual lives and marriages.

“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5)

Jim worked and live in a small town that had hardly changed over the years of his life. He, his wife, and their three children were the prize family in their church. But, no one was surprised when they learned that Jim had been offered a job in a large, distant city. SHortly before they left for their new home, their little church gave him and his family a going away party and sent them off with prayers and good wishes. You can imagine the surprise a few months later when Jim and his family returned to the little town he had known most of his life and found a job doing what he had done before he left. Someone asked him about his return to which he responded: “We couldn’t find a good church or Sunday school in the area where we lived. People there were too busy making money, gambling, and drinking to even need the church.” He said, “Our kids cried for Sunday school and church back home. I couldn’t raise my children that way and my wife felt that way, too.”

It probably won’t surprise you to know that several months after returning home that Jim received a new position with the company, But, even if he hadn’t, he knew his priorities and he lived by them.

Be reminded of the clear teaching of scripture about the gathering of believers: “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:25 NLT)

A Christian marriage is one where both husband and wife…

5.   Model Christ

A Christian marriage is one where both husband and wife model Christian living before others  (especially their children) and are not ashamed to be identified with Christ. It doesn't bother them to bow their heads in public for prayer, to display conduct that identifies them as followers of Jesus, to stand for what is morally and biblically right, and to be known as Christians in their community.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16)

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.” (Romans 1:16)

A Christian marriage is one where both husband and wife…

6.   Instill Christ

If God has chosen to give a couple children, a Christian marriage is one where husband and wife together raise their children for the glory of God. They agree that their primary calling is to disciple their children and hand off the faith to each of them. Their greatest desire isn’t for their children to win scholarships, earn scholastic recognition, have a trophy case full of hardware they’ve won, graduate with a college degree, get into an Ivy League school, etc. Their highest goal is to bring their children to Christ and train them how to follow Jesus for themselves.

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)

…and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 3:15)

Closing:

One of my favorite biographies is about the life of Peter Marshall who was twice elected as the Chaplain of the United States Senate. Dr. Marshall gave these words of wisdom about a Christian marriage:

“We are souls living in bodies. Therefore when we really fall in love, it isn’t just physical attraction. If it is just that, it won’t last. Ideally, it’s also spiritual attraction. God has opened our eyes and let us see into someone’s soul. We have fallen in love with the inner person, the person who is going to live forever. That’s why God is the greatest asset to romance. He thought it up in the first place. Include Him in every part of your marriage, and He will lift it above the level of the mundane to something rare and beautiful and lasting.”

Paul’s Powerful Prayers (#5)

Ephesians 1:15-23

Thus far we have learned at least six specific requests we can pray to God on behalf of others and ourselves. These requests are:

1. That believers may be strengthened with His power on the inner man. (Eph. 3:16)
2. That believers may be able to grasp the immensity of the love of God for them. (Eph. 3:17)
3. That believers would mature to the place of Christlikeness. (Eph. 3:19)
4. That God will enable believers to love others as they should. (1 Thess. 3:12-13)
5. That unbelievers will come to Christ for salvation and the nations of the earth hear the message of the Gospel. (Romans 10:1)
6. That believers will be motivated by love to make the best choices possible and be the best people possible.

In the opening verses of Ephesians (1:15-23), Paul is praying for believers to be “enlightened” with “the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.” When Paul speaks here of “knowledge” (1:17), he has an Old Testament understanding of its definition or explanation. This word conveys the idea of a complete, full and intimate knowledge gained through our relationship with God, as well as in our experiences with Him.

We can say that we know one of our former presidents, even though we have never met him or interacted with him in any personal way. Because we know some details, have read his biography, or familiarized ourselves with his policy decisions...we might even tell others that  we know this particular president. However, when we talk about knowing our children or spouses, we are speaking of a much higher (more intimate) knowledge that is enhanced through the relationship and experiences we share together.

It is this growing, experiential knowledge that Paul prays for believers to enjoy with God as He makes Himself known to them (“revelation”) and they understand (“wisdom”) how to use the knowledge they gain.

There are three areas in which Paul wants this knowledge of God to increase so people can experience and appreciate Him more.

First, He prays for them to “know the hope of their calling.” Our personal salvation is the result of God calling us to Himself. Apart from that none of us would have ever been saved. And, when we respond to His call in faith, He gives to us a “hope” that can never be taken away. “Hope” is not the wishful thinking that is commonly thought of as the definition for the word today. This Greek word describes a “hope” that is absolute certainty believers will be victorious in the end!! This is a “hope” that we presently possess, but does not see its ultimate fulfilment until we reach Heaven (cf. Romans 8:24-25).

“We give thanks to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of your love for all the saints; because of the hope which is laid up for you in heaven…” (Colossians 1:3-5)

It’s important that we remember we are only pilgrims passing through this life and our citizenship is in Heaven. It is there that our “hope” rests when we experience all that He has prepared for His own. This “hope” is precisely what we did not have as unbelievers and that we so desperately needed (cf. Ephesians 2:12).

Second, Paul prays that believers will know the “riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.” Be careful to note that he is not talking here about the inheritance that is ours because we belong to Jesus Christ (cf. 1:11, 14). It is true that all God’s children are blessed to be “heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:17) and that alone is an astounding truth enjoyed only because of His grace.

This “inheritance” that belongs to Christ (“in the saints”) consists of all that know Him personally in salvation.  In other words, we are, as the people of God, the “inheritance” that is His.

When we consider that, though forgiven, we still possess vestiges of our sinful nature with which we daily struggle, this is an astounding statement about God’s grace. We are Christ’s treasured possession. And, the reason we are treasured is that as believers we are “in Christ” and that is how God sees us all as His children.

For all eternity we will be viewed as trophies of God’s grace. Even the angels will marvel at the manifold wisdom of God in bestowing His grace on the saints.

“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” (Ephesians 2:4-10)

“To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord…” (Ephesians 3:8-11 ESV)

“This salvation was something even the prophets wanted to know more about when they prophesied about this gracious salvation prepared for you. They wondered what time or situation the Spirit of Christ within them was talking about when he told them in advance about Christ’s suffering and his great glory afterward. They were told that their messages were not for themselves, but for you. And now this Good News has been announced to you by those who preached in the power of the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. It is all so wonderful that even the angels are eagerly watching these things happen.” (1 Peter 1:10-12 NLT)

And, because we are His “inheritance,” we know with absolute certainty that we will live with Him forever. Without question, as His “inheritance,” we will be removed from this sinful earth in the final day and we will forever be His glorious inheritance. Our glorious Father (1:17), because of His glorious grace (1:6), will undeniably have His glorious inheritance (1:18).

Third, Paul prayed that believers would know the “exceeding greatness of His (God’s) power” toward us because we “believe.” In this verse Paul uses four Greek synonyms (“power”-dunamis, “working”-energia, “mighty”-ichus, “power”-kratos-1:19) to describe God’s omnipotent power. He does this to emphasize that His power is unconquerable and unassailable. This is the power that is in us because of the presence of Christ, as well as the power by which we face our enemies (cf. Ephesians 6:10).

“You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” (1 John 4:4)

You and I might have chosen to speak of God’s power by pointing to creation, but Paul points to Christ’s resurrection, ascension and dominion (over creation & the church)...to illustrate His power (Ephesians 1:20-23). There is nothing outside of the control and power of the Almighty God! We need fear nothing, because His power is greater than all we face. His power secures us as His “inheritance” and not our own power. What He has promised to do He is powerful to accomplish and bring to completion.

It’s as we begin to grasp these truths that we start enjoying a deeper and fuller walk with God. Thus, Paul prayed that believers would be able to comprehend these three truths: 1. The hope of His calling, 2. The riches of His inheritance, and 3. The power of His presence.

What we need is to know God more fully/experientially as He makes Himself known to us! We need to see Who He is and what He has done! Only then can we fully appreciate Him and bring glory to Him.

How unfortunate for us if we don’t know God the way He wants us to know Him!!

(2 Kings 25:4-7; Jeremiah 39:5-7; 52:8-11) King Zedekiah was king of Judah when Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, captured Him. In Zedekiah’s presence he killed all his sons and then he gouged out his eyes. He was led to the great city of Babylon, but he was never able to see all the riches and beauty of that city because he was blind. How many of us are blinded to the greatness of our God and His unfathomable riches that are bestowed upon us through His Son, Jesus Christ?

We need to pray like Elisha prayed (2 Kings 6:10-23) when he was surrounded by the army of Syria in the city of Dothan and his servant was frightened (2 Kings 6:15-16). He prayed to God on behalf of his servant, “open his eyes that he may see” and the servant saw a spiritual army greater than the Syrian army.

We must ask God to open our eyes, “enlighten” our “understanding,” and fill us with “the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him (God).” (Ephesians 1:17-18)

Let’s pray:

7. That believers might be spiritually enlightened so that they may know God more fully and intimately in their daily lives.

Where did I see God today?